“I'm James to you.”
“Asshole sounds fine to me. Or dickhead. Prick. Asslick.”
My lips twitch. “Only ass I ever licked was yours.”
Her cheeks bloom pink.
“Shut up.”
“You loved every damn second of it too.”
“For one night of passion I bought myself a lifetime of pain. You’ve taken everything from me. I wasted twenty years on you. I’m done throwing my life away.”
Alexa flinches when I step toward her.
“Don’t ever be fuckin’ afraid of me. Never ever lay a hand on you in anger, baby. Always treated you with respect.”
Alexa snorts. Tears streaming down her cheeks. “You kept me all these years, giving me money, buying me a house. A car. I was your paid whore. Your filthy secret.” Wiping her tears away she shakes her head. “You don’t know how to love anyone but yourself and the ghost of a daughter who hated you.”
“Take that shit back,” I grit through my teeth. The light in her gorgeous green eyes appears snuffed out, and it breaks me into about a million pieces knowing I’m the one who did this. I’m the one who broke her and made her feel unworthy of love. Of my love. I turned her into the bitter woman who has a hard time trusting men. Who won’t let anyone in out of fear of being hurt again. Who craves love desperately but pushes anyone away who gets too close including our own daughter because she thinks she isn’t loveable, but I love her. I always have.
“No. Rochelle hated you in the end.”
“You want to hurt me. I get it. I hurt you, but don’t do that. Lex.”
“Why? Truth hurts.”
I wrap an arm around her, pulling her closer as she pushes against me but failing to loosen my hold. “That why you get so damn mean when I say I love you. Because you know it’s true?”
“She knew what you did. You did what you always do. Murder someone to solve your problems. Rochelle told me how you killed that guy your wife had moved in while you were doing time. Said he was the only father she ever knew, and you took him from her. She tried to forget but he haunted her dreams.”
“Fuck.” I let her go. Alexa always knows where to hit me the hardest. Each time worse than the last. I stare at my boots unable to gaze into her eyes and see the ugly truth. I know my sins. I don’t need reminding.
“Then you treated Wylla Mae, the little girl who’d done anything to make you proud like trash. All she ever wanted was a father and you denied her. Denied me of all I ever wanted.”
My gaze flickers up, registering the change in her tone. The anger has left her, and the single emotion left is pure sadness. “And what’s that?”
“All I ever thought about was being your Old Lady. How good it’d feel to tell everyone you were my man. That you loved me. That we shared a beautiful daughter together. All it ever was...all we were was a beautiful lie. A lie I told myself over and over again hoping one day it’d be the truth. You don’t love me. You never did. So stop pretending.”
“How long you gonna keep trying to shut me out, pretty girl?”
“As lo
ng as it takes for you to get it through that thick head of yours that I’m done.”
“I say when we’re done, and we’re far from over.” I grip her chin seeing the fire blazing dancing in my eyes reflected in hers.
“I’m not one of your club whores. I’m damn sure not your wife so back the fuck up and get out of my face.”
“Don’t want no whore. Don’t got no wife either.”
“Bullshit.”
“You think I’d stay with Ruthie knowing she was behind those bastards putting their hands on you. Bitch is the reason you were shot. Bled that fuck dry. Slit his throat ear to ear. Would done the same to Ruthie but out of respect for Rochelle’s memory I let the cunt walk away. Told her I better not catch sight of her in West Virginia ever fuckin’ again if she wants to keep breathing. I ever hear anyone breathe her name I won’t think twice about putting her to ground for all the bullshit she’s caused. Divorce was fast tracked. It’s over. I’m a free man.”
“Well lah-de-fucking-dah. What do you want a cookie? A blue ribbon? Gold medal?”
“What I want is you to stop being such a God damn smart ass and admit that you still feel something for me. Stop being a bitch for five minutes and hear what I’m sayin’. ‘Cause, Lex. Baby, I’m trying to tell you this is our second chance at a fresh start. Leave the past where it belongs.”