I’m going to faint. She thinks Wylla Mae belongs to her rapist father. I swallow hard not knowing what to do with this information. Do I agree with her lie or make up a new one?
“Don’t feel obligated. Your father. Wylla isn’t. Um. Tanner. You remember him. Colter’s friend. It was a onetime thing, and he doesn’t know. I don’t have any plans on telling him.”
“You need to tell him.”
“I will just not right now. It’s complicated. You see he has a girlfriend, and I don’t want to cause any problems for him. I don’t want or need anything from him. It’s just ya know. Whatever,” the lies just keep coming.
“You poor dear.”
“I’ll be fine. Truly. I’m putting in applications, and I’m sure once I find a car and a babysitter, things will work out for me. I’m thinking of moving to another city even. Fresh start and all that.” I still have the bank card James gave me. I never touched that money. I could use it for Wylla and me. He is her father and he gave it to me.
I hope there is still money in the account anyway.
“Not to pry, but you aren’t prepared for this baby at all. It’s okay to ask for help. I know you’re strong. You don’t have to prove that to me. No one has to know. Not even James. It can be our secret. You didn’t get a baby shower. I want to do this for you. So let me see what you have.”
Heat shoots up my spine. She’s right. I didn’t think any of this through. I don’t have anything besides a few basic things. Not even a crib. A fat tear rolls down my cheek. “I...”
“You know what. It’s okay. You just kick back there on the couch. The baby is asleep in the carrier, and you should sleep when she does. I’ll prep a bottle or two before I leave. You’ve got enough diapers to cover you for now. Leave it all to me.”
It’s too much. I can’t allow her to do this and yet I have no one else. My mom was right. I’m lost. I don’t know what I’m doing or how to take care of a baby at all. A small sliver of my heart was holding onto hope I’d be doing all of this with James. Now look at me. I’m his wife’s fucking charity case.
Ruthie hums to herself moving through my apartment, changing things around, and making notes on a pad of paper she got from the junk drawer in the kitchen. I close my eyes and sleep sucks me under.
**
“Shh. They’re still asleep. Try to be a little quieter will you.”
I blink.
“Where should I put this?” a guy’s voice sounds close by.
“Take it to the bedroom,” Ruthie tells him.
“Got it.”
I open my eyes in time to see Tanner packing a big box toward my bedroom.
Holy shit. Why is he here? This is bad. Real bad. He can blow my secret out the water. I’m torn between trying to get rid of both of them or pretending I’m asleep a bit longer. Wylla Mae wakes up with a startled cry, and I instantly jump up. So much for faking my sleep.
“You want me to get her?” Ruthie offers, and I shake my head.
I glance around the room while I get Wylla from the carrier. “Ruthie...it’s too much.” There’s so much stuff.
“Nonsense. I only bought the essentials. I have a little surprise for you.” She motions toward the hall. “Figured you need a nudge in the right direction.”
I look over to see Tanner smiling sheepishly at me. Shit. “Hey, Alexa.” His cheeks redden when he says my name.
“Hi. Can you hold on a second? I just gotta.” I point to my baby’s stinky butt and move past him.
“I gotta get going, Alexa. I think you and Tanner have some talking to do. I’ll check back in on you, but if you need anything give me a call.”
“Okay. Thanks.” This is all too much and too damn strange.
“I’ll see myself out.” She waves and slips out the door.
I lay Wylla down on my bed realizing I forgot to bring her diapers and wipes with me. I can sense Tanner hovering over my shoulder. I can’t believe Ruthie did this. She had no business dragging him here. This has nothing to do with him.
“I don’t want to sound rude but what are you doing here? No hold that thought. First can you um grab me a pack of wipes and a diaper out of the living room?”