“Don’t do this to me, please be okay.” Someone shouts in my ears as my head pounds.
Thump.
Thump.
Something warm and inviting touches my mouth. It feels soft, velvety.
Gasp.
I try to suck in a breath.
Big mistake.
Water gurgles in my throat.
I feel like I want to vomit, but only little spurts run out the sides of my mouth.
Coughing and sputtering my eyes fly open to see a blurry version of Jake staring at me with worry etched all over his face, he looks like someone just walked over his grave.
Bradly is in his grave on our wedding day. I want to feel sad about it but the well of tears connected to my heart has dried up.
“Have you lost your mind?” Jake is screaming at me now that I am fully awake. “Why would you do something so fucking stupid Penny?” He shakes my arms as he cradles me into a hug on the cold tile of the bathroom floor.
I try to open my mouth to explain it was just an accident, but my words escape me. My throat feels like it has been raked over with sandpaper. My lungs burn.
“I can’t believe you tried to kill yourself,” he yells at me again still clinging to me in his embrace. His strong, buff arms are caging me in. Jake has killer biceps from all the time he spends playing the drums. He has to be in great shape to keep up with the demands of a tour.
“I fell, dumbass. I had an accident. That sort of thing happens…,” I finally mumble out at him. I’m depressed, sure, but I would find a better way to go out, if ending it all was my desire. I’m too selfish to die.
“You scared the shit out of me!”
“Why are you here, Jake?” He doesn’t give a shit about me.
“I came by because Katie can’t reach you. She’s worried about you.”
“She shouldn’t be.” I would shake my head, but it hurts. “How’d you even get in here?”
He sighs. “When I knocked at the front door, Percy was clawing at the door wanting out. I knew you were home, because your car’s here. When I came in the house, water was in the hall. I kicked open the bathroom door when you didn’t answer me, and I found you in the tub…wearing your wedding gown…unconscious…and bleeding. What am I supposed to think, Penny?” He shakes his head, disappointed in me. I didn’t think Jake thought much of me, if he thinks of me at all.
I pull back from his embrace. His cologne is making my head swim. “What are you doing in Kentucky?” He should be LA, with the rest of the band getting ready for their European tour.
“I came back to square away some stuff with my parent’s estate. I am thinking of renting the place out.” Jake’s parents died in a horrible accident his senior year of high school, he can’t bring himself to ever go in their home, but he refuses to sell it. “Are you okay? Do you want me to drive you to the hospital to get your head checked out?”
“That’s great, Jake. Have anyone interested yet?”
“Hey, don’t try to change the subject. I worry about you, we all do.” By we—he means, Katie, Vance, Hunter, and Kai.
“I’m fine. My head hurts but I’ll live.”
He takes a wet cloth dabbing it at the cut on my head and I wince.
“I don’t think you’ll need stitches. But I’m not leaving you alone. I’m gonna call Katie and tell her what happened.”
“Please,” I beg, taking his calloused hands in mine. “Don’t tell Katie, she’ll freak out and call my mom. Then my parents will make me go back to therapy, and crawl up my ass, smothering me. I’m fine. I swear.”
“I don’t believe you.” He looks at me with his baby blues cautious.
“I promise, please, Jake,” I beg.