Becoming bored quickly, I go over to the microphone and pick up the notebook on the stool. I flip open the first page—this must be Kai’s or the band’s lyric book. I flip the book open, finding an unfinished thought or song.
The weight of your love is bearing down on me
I can’t breathe
Suffocate me
Your smile is my number one addiction
Making you laugh is my obsession
I pray that it will end quickly
Suffocate me
Fast as you can wrap your hands around my throat and squeeze real tight
Suffocate me
I’ll be your pain and you’ll be my biggest regret
I hurriedly close the notebook and shuffle back over to the couch as I hear Kai and Jake’s voices getting closer. Did Kai write that? I find the more time I spend with Kai Cooper, the more questions I seem to have.
“You ready to go?” Kai looks at me from the doorway. I nod and smile.
When I reach him at the car, his eyes are red and glossed over. If I didn’t know any better, I would think he is high. I march over to the driver’s side and shove my finger in his chest. “Kai Cooper, you aren’t driving me while stoned.” Jake cracks up laughing, watching from the stairs to his apartment.
“Not funny, asshole.” I spin around and point at him. He holds arms up and backs up the stairs slowly with a big shit-eating grin on his face.
Kai grins and reaches his keys ove
r to me.
“Thank you.” I happily take the keys, his fingers brushing against mine.
Kai holds me captive with his eyes, staring at me intently. His forehead comes to rest on mine. He is breathing heavy. “Don’t hurt my car,” he whispers, backing away from me smiling.
He gets in on the passenger side, and I get in the driver’s seat, adjusting the seat and mirrors for my height.
Once we are on the road, I tell him, “You could have just told me what you were doing, Kai. I wouldn’t have been angry or judged you…ya know you don’t have to lie to me about who you are.”
He seems to ponder on my words for a few minutes and then he asks, “Did you want to smoke with us? I didn’t think you were that kind of girl.” He grins and those dimples, sweet Lord.
“You keep telling me–I’m not that kind of girl…what does that even mean, Kai?”
He bangs his head against the window and sighs. “Kat, I don’t mean it in an insulting way. It’s a compliment, all right.”
“Is Raven like that? Is she one of those girls? Is that why you broke up?” The questions fire rapidly from my mouth like a damn machine gun.
“I don’t want to talk about Raven with you.” He turns the radio up loudly and a tear stings at the corner of my eye. It shouldn’t bother me, but it does. I thought we were becoming friends. Maybe I pushed too hard, too fast, but I can’t help but wonder what the deal is with them. They act like a couple but not.
We reach town and still have a half hour until we pick up Khloe. My stomach rumbles and Kai laughs at me. We both agree on the Dairy Bar for a burger and milkshake. I go through the drive thru. Kai does not need to be seen in public right now.
I pull in at the park near Khloe’s daycare. It’s cool out but if we sit in the sun, it won’t be so bad. Kai and I settle at a picnic table, and I eat quietly. Kai on the other hand is quite entertaining. He bites into his burger and a guttural groan rips from his throat. I have to choke back my laughter. He devours his burger and half of mine. I was afraid to tell him no because he was eating like a beast.
Kai checks his watch, takes cologne from the glove box of his car, and sprays himself. “Sniff me,” he orders me.
I step in close to him. The top of my head reaches the middle of his neck. Inhaling deeply, I feel intoxicated by the smell of him. “You’re good.” I step away quickly. Then I add, “But you need this. I forgot I had it.” I produce Visine from my purse and tuck it in his waiting hand.