“Yeah, babe, but remember, it’s just you. I’ll DD,” she says with a small smile, rubbing her nonexistent baby bump. Big Tex and Courtney are still going strong, almost two years of marriage and now a child on the way. Every day I wish I could go back and that I could have what she has. But I know how that’s not going to happen. I should have known Tate wouldn’t change. Yeah, he was always the best, did everything he could to show me how special I was, but once he got into the NFL, I was just a dot on his radar. Broken promises from him are nothing new.
“Do that, it will be fun.”
**
I can’t get Tate off my mind. I know he didn’t owe me anything, but I thought… I don’t know what I thought. I down another shot. Then another. I’ve already had four or was it five? I’ve lost count.
“Don’t you think you should slow down?” Courtney shakes her head at me.
“Nope,” I say as the room spins.
“Let’s have some water, hey?” Tex tries shoving a bottle at me as he twists the cap off. Big Tex showed up about forty minutes ago, once Courtney realized how trashed I wanted to get. He’s been a wet blanket since the minute he showed up.
I shove it away and nearly fall out of my seat.
“I think we should call it a night, Twinkle Toes,” Tex says and my heart nearly shatters into a thousand pieces hearing what Tate used to call me. Oh God, that hurts.
“Don’t…don’t you ever call me that again!” I snap at him, stumbling my way to the bar for another drink.
“Fuck,” I hear Tex shout. Asshole should know better.
“Hey, baby.” I turn to my left and smile at the cute blond-haired man next to me.
“On me,” he says to the bartender and hands over some cash once I get my drink.
“Thanks,” I slur happily.
“What brings you out tonight?”
I smile at him. “I’m celebrating and having myself a pity party. I had my show tonight, and the man I’ve been in love with for years, broke yet another promise and didn’t show up. So, fuck him.” I shrug.
He gives me a sad smile as I chug back my drink and slam the glass on the bar top. I hook an arm around the guy’s neck and kiss him. Suddenly, he’s moved away from me harshly. I look to see that Big Tex has him on the ground.
“What the hell are you doing, Tex?” I shout at him.
“This isn’t you, Amaya. Don’t let Tate cloud your head.”
“Fuck you, then. Do you want to tell me why Tate didn’t show up? Huh? Want to tell me why I was never important enough for that bastard? No? I hate you, but most importantly, right now, I hate him.”
Big Tex looks as if I punched him and he staggers back.
I move through the crowded bar and make my way to the door.
“Amaya, stop. Let me give you a ride home.”
“Fuck you too, Courtney,” I mouth off and run outside.
My head is spinning, I need to get away from all these Tate loving assholes, or I need to go lay down. I stumble over my feet as my vison blurs. My mind goes back to the guy at the bar. Something about him seemed familiar. His head doubles behind my eyes, and I feel sick as I remember him—Keith, my first college boyfriend.
I continue walking down the street as some guy rushes past me in a haze. I wave my hand in front of my face and my fingers look all funny.
Chapter 35
Courtney
I
see it happening too fast, and I’m too late. I scream for Amaya as she crosses the street, swaying in her drunkenness. The do not walk sign is flashing in red. The car is going too fast.