“No, ye’re right. I shouldn’t have questioned what yer plan is. It’s no’ my place.” He stared out the windshield again, his jaw working under his scarred, whisker-covered skin. “I would have—would do—anything tae have her by my side once more.”
“I kno’,” I said softly. The air was thick and heavy with melancholy. My throat was tight with emotion. I couldn't imagine or comprehend finding Evelyn only to have her taken from me. Yet here was Odhran, still surviving, forever searching, even though he’d lost her decades before.
He’d had my back countless times, saved my life on numerous occasions in war-stricken situations. He never questioned my motives, never went against how I did things. He was fucking completely loyal.
But as I sat here with the silence descending on me as if it was a weight on my shoulders, I knew what he pointed out was right.
Hunting down my mate like this wasn’t only going to make things worse. It might even push her away farther, make her run from me more. But I couldn’t stop myself, not when there was a fire in my body that told me if I didn’t do this, I would die.
I stared at the door of the room she was in, practically able to hear her pulse beating. The sound moved through the space that separated us, slamming into my body. I hadn’t even seen her in person yet, hadn't touched her, smelled her, made her mine… but she was already everything to me.
She had been before I even met her.
My heart outside my body.
My soul in physical form.
One part of me told me to wait until she came to me, that things would be better, that she’d trust me, that she’d realize we were meant to be together. Another voice told me to take action, to go to her, force her to see reason, that I’d never let her go.
They were two waging voices and emotions inside me, one a nagging, sinister part telling me she’d never want or accept me, that she’d never accept what I was. It told me I’d always be alone, but that no matter what, I’d be her shadow. I’d stay by her side so she’d never be alone, so she’d always have a protector. I’d rather be her silent protector and keep her in my life that way than never see her again.
That would be the slowest, most painful death imaginable.
I clenched my teeth so hard I was surprised they didn’t crack, my body humming being so close to her yet so far away. I got out of the car and shut the door silently, common sense going right out the fucking window as I stalked across the parking lot and stopped in front of her motel room door.
The metal was dented, the paint peeling in some places. I placed my hand on it, closing my eyes and inhaling deeply, sifting through everything until I focused on the other side. The soft sound of her breathing, the gentle swish of her legs moving under the blanket as she shifted on the bed—noises that calmed me immensely. Because she’s so close.
I focused on the steady thump-thump, thump-thump of her heart beating.
So close. So close to finally making her ours, my wolf growled in male satisfaction.
I slowly opened my eyes and slid my hand down to grab the handle. I could have tried to do this differently. But I wouldn’t. I was too impatient for her. I twisted my wrist in one firm, swift motion that had the flimsy lock popping out, the mechanics failing. The noise was loud enough for a shifter to hear a mile away, but a human deep in sleep might not pick up on it.
And I didn’t know if I wanted her to see me breaking in and stalking her, or if I wanted her to stay asleep so I could stand by the edge of her bed and just stare at her.
I stayed where I was, listening for if she roused from the soft clanking of the lock breaking. More swish-swish coming from under the blankets as she adjusted herself in bed, but she otherwise stayed asleep.
Anger and protectiveness slammed into me at the thought that she was helpless and vulnerable.
I stepped inside, closing the door as well as I could given the fact that the lock was now broken. The soft click of it staying in place was the only thing I heard at first. But then I filtered everything else out and focused on the bed. Her form was so small in the center of it, this tiny mound under the floral-print blanket. The only light was a sliver of golden-yellow streetlight that came through slightly parted curtains, cutting across the ground and barely reaching the bed. But I could see perfectly.
I closed my eyes at her scent. It was addicting. Intoxicating. It was the most powerful thing I’d ever experienced. Sweet with undertones of floral, so fucking delicious that my cock stirred, thickening, lengthening against the fly of my jeans. I angled my head down slightly but kept my gaze locked on her as I took a step forward, holding in the animalistic sound of how pleased I was being near her.