It got to the point where my head started pounding, and I folded the map up to push it away, telling myself I’d worry about it later. After showering and brushing my teeth, I put on an oversize T-shirt and a pair of panties before slipping under the covers and extinguishing the bedside table light. I was facing the lone window in the room, the curtains closed except for one slivered part of where the two pieces of fabric didn’t quite meet.
The one parking lot light was directly in front of my window, the dirty-yellow glow washing into the room and illuminating a slice of the otherwise thick, dark interior.
Although I had no family and no real friends aside from Darragh, I felt myself feel something. I couldn’t quite put my finger on it and knew it wasn’t just because my best friend was gone. It was tied to a certain man who claimed to be a wolf shifter that had this ache—both pleasurable and uncomfortable—moving through me.
I actually found myself lifting my hand and rubbing a palm over my sternum, wondering if the things I felt were over the fact that I had always been alone even if I was surrounded by people. I wondered if I’d fill that gaping hole in my chest if I stopped running and accepted what life was now offering me.
Frustrated with myself, I laid on my back and stared at the ceiling, letting my gaze circle around a water stain right above my head, the shadows making it look even darker. Despite my best efforts, Cian's image and the rough sound of his voice popped into my head.
I started thinking about who he really was, how his life had been, and what it all meant to be the kind of creature he was. I was slowly trying to wrap my mind around all the supernatural things that had thrust themselves into my world, common sense and rationality waging war with me over it. These things aren’t possible in the world I live in.
It was the thought of Cian, the image of his big, muscular body, all that power I’d seen and felt through the phone, and the fantasy of him coming after me, chasing me because he had a claim on me, that filtered through my mind.
And I let myself be consumed by all things him as I closed my eyes and fell asleep.
12
Cian
The motel was small, situated with thick cornfields behind it and a stretch of deserted road in front of the building. A small light flickered above the front door, the NO VACANCY light hanging from the window in vibrant neon red that intermittently flickered, threatening to go out permanently.
It was late—or early, depending on how you looked at it—but I wasn't going to wait another moment to make her mine. I’d already waited so long for Evelyn.
After Odhran hacked into the GPS in Evelyn’s cell phone, pinpointing her coordinates, we’d set out. Every part of me hummed with the anticipation of seeing her face-to-face for the first time, of taking the scent of her right from the source.
Of telling her she was mine.
Odhran pulled the rental into the parking lot, the loose gravel kicking up under the tires. He pulled to a stop a good distance away from the actual interior of the motel. I thought about how she was feeling right now, how she was processing everything Darragh had told her. I wanted to comfort her, to make sure she wasn’t panicked, that she knew my entire life revolved around her and making sure she was happy.
Whether she believed in the supernatural or fated mates didn't matter, because she’d understand and believe it all soon enough. Because I wasn’t letting her go.
Odhran cut the engine, and we sat there for a moment in silence. I let my gaze move over the exterior of the lot, looking at each room, my focus finding the one I knew she was in, thanks—once again—to Odhran’s hacking skills.
I was a fighter, not a tech expert, and if I had been left to my own devices on this journey, it would’ve taken me a hell of a lot longer to track her down. But I would have eventually. So I was thankful for Rory, a tech expert in the Guard, who’d given me intel before I’d taken this trip, and Odhran’s skill set, because it made finding Evelyn faster and placated my beast.
“Are ye sure ye want tae do this?”
I looked over at Odhran, stifling the growl that would’ve risen up in my throat. For long minutes I said nothing, just stared at him within the dark interior of the car, knowing I shouldn’t say what was about to come from my mouth.
“Ye would have done anything tae get tae yer mate.” The words felt like acid from me, and as Odhran’s expression shifted to agony, I wished I could take them back, ask his forgiveness for bringing up his lost mate. For she may not be dead, but the fact that he’d had her for a moment in time and lost her was one and the same. “I shouldn’t have said that—”