Jillian, Jones, Steven, Brooks, Tobey, Nisha, Hailey, TJ, Reese, and Holden are focused on my face.
The only one who’s not staring at me is River.
He’s studying his plate, but he looks like he’s about to rip the table in half. It’s an unfamiliar look. Come to think of it, I’ve never seen him quite like this.
On the surface, the question—am I looking for a boyfriend—is dead easy.
But underneath, I’m a ball of nerves. Have been since I arrived. Wait, make that since this morning.
So I pick the easiest way out of the question. Wriggling away from it. “Sure,” I say, noncommittally, then pick up my fork again, but since I don’t want to choke on the tofurky, I set it down and opt for another drink.
“What are you looking for in a boyfriend, Owen?” Jillian asks. This is typical of her. She’s never met a question she’s unafraid to voice.
But I kinda wish she wasn’t asking this one.
It’s not even because one of my players happens to be here.
It’s because everyone is here, and we’re at the table, and I just want meals to be nice, and pleasant, without any scenes, and then you clean up and do dishes and move the hell on.
Right place, right time, and all that.
Surely, I’ll find the perfect moment so damn soon.
“You know. Just someone nice,” I say breezily, like I can just make the question evaporate.
“Oh my God, you’re so ready to get serious,” Brooks says with glee in his voice. He grabs Steven’s arm. “This makes me so happy.”
Steven laughs, knitting his brow. “You’re happy because he wants to get serious?”
“Of course I am. I like love. I like love stories. He’s going to meet someone on Boyfriend Material like that,” Brooks says, snapping his fingers.
TJ shoots me a crooked grin. “He’s not wrong. You’ve kind of always been a dude magnet, O.”
I dip my face, pick up the fork, consider what the hell to stuff into my mouth so I don’t have to talk.
I don’t want to talk to any of them.
They’re great. Truly, they’re great. But I don’t want to talk about this stuff with anyone but one person.
“That’s true. Owen has never had to buy a drink anywhere,” Nisha says, then turns to me again. “Are you? Ready to get serious?” she asks, rubbing her belly, like that’s the next step for me.
Hailey laughs, shakes her head. “Nish, I doubt he’s thinking about having kids.”
Nisha rolls her eyes self-deprecatingly. “Gah, sorry. I kinda can’t stop touching my belly.”
“It’s a great belly,” I say, and that came out so dumb. I can’t believe anyone lets me speak for them professionally when my words tonight are of the um and doh variety.
“What I mean is . . . I just think it would be great to see you with someone who makes you happy,” Nisha adds, “I would love to see that. Bet I’m not the only one of your friends who wants that.” With a playful grin, she gestures to the rest of the table.
TJ lifts his old-fashioned, a smirk on his face. “I’d love to see that, O.”
“I definitely would,” Holden puts in with a grin.
Soon, the whole table is chiming in with their plans for my romantic future.
“I can see him with someone funny. A guy with a wicked sense of humor,” Hailey says, and I want to say yes, and I found him.
“Someone who likes animals,” Nisha adds, and she couldn’t be more spot on.
“That’s always a plus. Hey, free vet care when you’re in Tahoe,” Tobey says, and I want to loosen all this tension in me and say Tobey, you were not wrong, you were not wrong at all, and your vibe detector is perfectly calibrated.
“Someone you can travel with. We love to travel,” Steven suggests, and the coil winds tighter because that’s true as well. That’s so damn true.
“And someone you can just hang out with wherever you are,” Brooks puts in.
Stop reading my mind.
Jillian lifts her glass. “It’s always a bonus if a man is good in the kitchen.”
There’s a pause before River weighs in. “Or the bar,” he adds, but there’s a note of hurt in his voice, and a tick in his jaw, and something like sadness in his gorgeous brown eyes.
He is finally looking at me.
And I’m looking at him across the table.
Seeing everything I’ve ever wanted. Seeing the only man I want.
My throat tightens. My chest squeezes. A jack-in-the-box winds tighter inside me.
I clench my jaw, try to take a deep breath.
Try to let all these inconvenient, untimely, far too big feelings go.
Try to remind myself that later, I’ll find the perfect moment to tell River. Maybe outside. Or on the deck. Or I’ll sneak into his room.
Or.
Or.
Or.
Fuck the perfect moment.
I can’t take this a second longer.
I rip off the Band-Aid all at once, stripping my whole heart bare at the dinner table. “I’m not getting on Boyfriend Material. Because I already met someone,” I say to everyone. “And he’s all of those things. He’s everything.” My gaze lands on River as I say the last words. “He also happens to be my best friend, and I’m in love with him.”