That’s some amazing strength.
Could I have done it if given the chance?
I’ll never know.
All I know is I owe Zee and Reid and the others my life.
“I’m sorry,” I say. “I never meant to worry you. I won’t do it again.”
“You can’t make that promise,” she says, “not if you truly feel this is right for you.”
“He can come to my— Oh, I guess he can’t.”
“No, he can’t. There’s a reason why we don’t allow men in your building other than security, who are carefully vetted.”
“I know. I understand. I’ll let you know, then, if I’m going to be gone all night.”
She sighs into my ear. “That’s not what we want either, Katelyn. We don’t want to control you. You’re free now. You have the right to live your life as you see fit.”
“Then what’s the answer?”
Another sigh. “The answer, I guess, is that I need to let you go.”
“Maybe I don’t want you to let me go.”
“We’ll still be friends, of course. Maybe I need to tell security not to let me know when someone doesn’t come home.”
“That’s not good. What if there’s a problem?”
“I don’t have the answer,” she says. “Reid and I will talk about it. We’ll talk to Macy. Talk to security. We’ll figure out a system that works for everyone. Okay?”
The right words don’t come to me because I don’t know what they are. Having someone checking up on me gives me a sense of security, of safety. But she’s right. I am free now. I can come and go as I please. I can be with whom I please. I can… I can have sex with a man if I want to, whether I’m emotionally ready for it or not.
“I’ll be home soon,” I tell her. “I didn’t plan this. Otherwise I would have let security know when I left.”
“You shouldn’t have to do that. This isn’t the 1950s, where women have to sign in and out of their college dorms. We’re just all very concerned about you and the others.”
“I know that, Zee. And I thank you for it.”
She inhales. “No need to thank any of us. We’re here to help. We want to help. I just…”
“What?”
“I feel a responsibility to all of you. I feel…kind of…”
I wait. She’s having a hard time saying whatever this is.
“Guilty,” she finally says. “I feel guilty. I’m the one who got away. The rest of you didn’t. And I feel especially responsible for you, Katelyn. I should have taken you with me. We both could have gotten out.”
“We’ve been through that. There’s no way you could have.”
Silence again. She knows what I say is true, but she still feels the guilt. I understand. I’d most likely feel the same way.
“You’re very special to me,” she says.
“You’re special to me too.” No truer words.
“All right. I’ll try to let go a little.”
“I’m okay. Enjoy that new baby. I can’t wait to see her.”
“I’ll bring her to the building in a few days,” Zee says. “Once we’re settled in.”
“Sounds great, and I’m so sorry again for worrying you.”
“It’s all right. Take care, Katelyn. And call me if you need anything. I mean anything.”
“I will.” I place the phone safely back in my purse.
The bathroom door is still closed, and now I hear the shower. Part of me wants to go into the shower and surprise Luke.
Part of me is scared stiff.
But I can’t let fear rule me. I walk slowly to the closed door, let my hand hover over the knob for a moment.
Then I twist it…or attempt to.
It’s locked. Locked from the inside.
He locked me out.
Not a huge deal. Most people lock the door when they’re in the bathroom.
It bothers me for a fleeting moment and then I get over it.
I do need to get home. I still haven’t begun looking for work, and that has to take priority. I search through a few drawers in the kitchenette until I find a pad of paper and pen. I scribble a quick note to Luke, dress quickly, and leave. I don’t have a key to lock his deadbolt, but I make sure I lock the smaller lock on the doorknob.
I’m not quite sure where I am, so I hail a cab and give him the address to my place.
Then I smile.
I feel…happy.
Happy is good.
34
Luke
I turn off the shower and grab a towel. My work clothes hang on the door. I grabbed them when I went into the bathroom. Hiding this tattoo has become work in itself. I need to step up my game and find someone who can remove it—someone who’s the best and also who’s trustworthy.
I dry off my hair and body, rub antiperspirant under my arms, and spritz on a little cologne. Then I dress and unlock the door.
“Hey,” I say, “you hungry?”
No response.
I scan the place—which takes all of two seconds—and I zero in on a piece of paper on the small table where I take my meals.