With that, Sadie spins on her heels to stalk out of the barn. Unfortunately, because of the amount of alcohol circling through her system, she staggers and falls but the last thing that she wants is for me to pick her up. When I try, she screams like I’m hurting her which causes me to jump back. She struggles, but eventually gets up and shoots daggers my way before stalking out of the barn, slamming the door behind her as loud as she can. It doesn’t have the desired effect that I’m sure she’s going for, but me and Jill feel it regardless.
“Shit.” That’s about the only word that I can say. I don’t know how else to describe this mess. “That was fucked up. I know we didn’t want to tell her right now, but it doesn’t help that she’s drunk…”
“We need to go after her,” Jill gasps out pitifully. “We need to get her before she leaves.”
“No, not right now. Not while she is this drunk and angry. It will only wind her up more. She needs time to cool off.”
I don’t like it just as much as Jill, but I know that we can’t fix this tonight. I have been through a life time of winding Sadie up so I know the best way to deal with her… although I haven’t ever seen her this bad before.
We will get through this, I tell myself. I need that boost of confidence right now, because this is definitely the worst fight we’ve ever had. It will be fine. It has to be, we’re family.
“Oh God, we should have told her.” Jill is sobbing harder now. This is crushing her. “Why didn’t we just tell her? We could have asked her permission and then she would have had time to get used to the idea of us before we went off to college…”
She never would have agreed with us though, not with any kind of ease, and we didn’t want the drama. That’s why we never told her. Although in hindsight it probably would have been better than this. I wanted a magical graduation party with Jill, and the last thing that I wanted was to ruin it for my sister at the same time. Why did it have to be like this?
“Don’t worry.” I say as I pulled Jill in for a hug, trying my best to comfort her through her tears. It was safe to say that even my magical moment with my girlfriend had been ruined as well. No coming back from this one. “She’s with Warren by now and moaning about us… but when morning comes, all will be better. We can work through this.”
“I don’t know… she was really hurt, Garrett. What if she really means it? What if she never speaks to us again? She might turn in her application and go to college with Warren and then I will lose her forever. I can’t lose her, Garrett, I can’t…”
I don’t want to ask Jill what she will do if she is given a choice between me and Sadie if she is put in a position where she has to choose one or the other. I honestly don’t know if that is a fight I will win, and that scares me. As much as I am confident in the love that me and Jill share, she loves her friendship with my sister as well…
No, I don’t want it to get to the point where she is forced to choose. I won’t let that happen. I love both these women and that means it’s up to me to make it right. I won’t fuck it up, I can’t. This is too damn important. As I hold Jill against me, the cogs in my brain tick fast, trying to find a solution.
“I love you, Jill,” I whisper to her over and over again. I don’t want her to forget that. “I really do.”
“I know, and I love you too… I’m just scared to lose my best friend to something I could have prevented.”
The strength of the future that we have been planning, is starting to fade away. I can sense it in Jill just as much. The life that me and her are supposed to have together feels impossible to have any more. Have we been naïve to believe that we can make it work?
No. With Jill in my arms, I just know that we are destined to be together, and fate always finds a way. I can be strong for Jill, I can take the brunt of the hate from Sadie for her. I will do whatever it takes. There might well be drama at home as well to come from this, but I can take it all as long as I get to keep the love of my life.