“Hey.” All of a sudden, Garrett’s voice rings out from behind me. He makes me jump, but I try my best to hide it. I’m pretty sure that he saw. “How are you? Sorry about this. I know it’s a lot but you know what my mom is like. When she gets an idea in her head…”
“Yeah, yeah, I know.” I giggle, thinking back to the happier times when I did know Annette well. Once she sets her mind on something it’s hard to change it. “It’s okay, I understand.”
“Are you ready?” He runs his eyes up and down. “It’ll be hard…”
“How is your mom?” I interject.
“She’s doing surprisingly well actually.” He stuffs his hands in his pockets, looking awkward and stressed. I feel sorry for him. “She has coped with this better than I thought she would. Better than me, that’s for sure.”
I don’t know what to say to that. I nod, trying to swallow down the thick ball of emotion that lodges itself in my throat. I wish I could find the right words to say in this moment, but I can’t.
“Do you want to go inside? Or do you need a minute?”
I stare up at Sadie’s bedroom window, wondering what it looks like now. I suppose it’s probably still exactly the same. I imagine Annette can’t change it. I wouldn’t be able to either. But it must be heart breaking to see it and know that the girl who belongs in that room isn’t coming back.
“I think that I’m ready to go inside,” I say with a deep sigh. “Let’s do this.”
I almost finish my sentence with the word ‘together’ but I manage to stop myself at the very last moment. This is already weird enough without me making it even stranger.
“Okay good.” Is it just me or does Garrett look like he’s just as freaked out as me? If this whole situation wasn’t so tragic then it would be funny. But it is, tragic I mean, so I’m not going to laugh. “It’s going to be fine. Mom is okay. We’re going to get through this just fine.”
I really hope all goes well.
Chapter 18 – Garrett
This is going well. It doesn’t stop my heart from hammering as I glance between my mom and Jill because this has to be the weirdest thing to happen so far since Jill ended up back here. And I’m including the moment that I walked into the office, and found her working with me… this is stranger for sure.
Yet, Mom and Jill don’t seem to find it odd at all. Jill has relaxed and she’s settled in chatting with my mother, so it’s like nothing changed… aside from the hole that Sadie left behind, of course.
“Wow, so you have had a great time!” Mom declares at the end of a story about Jill’s time in Italy. “I always wanted to go to Europe. You are so lucky to have done so much, so young…”
Jill’s cheeks flame, her eyes dart towards the floor, and I find a small smile creeping up on my face as I watch her. I remember her blushing a lot when we were younger, drawing me to her. She wasn’t like other girls.
But times have changed. I need to stop looking at her like that.
“Yes, it was great, but I am glad to be back as well. To have some stability. To be with my father…”
“And how is your father? He hasn’t been well, I’ve heard.” Mom looks sad for Jill which makes me feel bad because I haven’t really said much about her dad to be honest. “Is he recovering?”
“He seems better now that I am back.”
Mom reaches across the table and takes Jill’s hand. There is a soft smile on her face, Mom is wearing an expression that I haven’t ever seen on her before and it makes me wonder if she’s thinking about Sadie… oh, who am I kidding? Of course she’s thinking about Sadie. How could she not be? Seeing Sadie’s best friend brings everything back. I think everyone in the room is thinking about how much she would have changed, grown and what she would be doing today if she were still here…
“Of course he needs you, Jill. But your father wants you to live for yourself as well. Just like I do for Garrett.” Mom doesn’t look at me as she says my name, thank God because my heart balls up in my throat. “And I know that we haven’t talked much about her yet, but Sadie would want you to be happy as well.”
“Sa… Sadie?” Jill stammers. “Sorry, it’s hard to say her name and not feel sad. I just miss her so much.”
Jill cries a little and there are tears in mom’s eyes as well. I turn myself into an emotional rock so I don’t break down as well. I don’t need anyone in this house to see me crying right now too.