Cecil shrugged. “I can’t answer any of that now. I’m just grateful to you for taking her. It must not have been an easy decision.”
“It wasn’t painless, but it wasn’t hard,” Rush said. “There’s no way I would’ve turned you down.”
“Then we’ll take this one day at a time,” Cecil said. “I know you’ll do what’s best for her.”
“I’ll try,” Rush said. But how could he be sure? When the time came to send her back home, he knew that he could stand the pain because he understood it. But what about Clara? She’d cried the first time he left, too young to understand the reason why. Would she understand this time? Was she old enough to accept that Andre was her father and Rush was not? Or would the coming separation hurt her all over again?
They left Annie at the hospital and drove Cecil several miles to a small house in a quiet neighborhood, where he unloaded the luggage from the back of the Hummer and promised to keep in touch. Then Rush drove away with Clara in the backseat.
“Can I come up front and sit with you, Daddy?” The word struck Rush like a knife through the heart.
“Nope,” Rush said. “You have to stay in the back.”
“Why?”
“Because it isn’t safe up here, and because it’s the law.”
“Why?”
“Because if I had to stop fast, you could get hurt up here. Are you hungry? We could get something to eat.”
“Can we have hamburgers? And fries? And chocolate shakes?”
Rush had to laugh. “Yes to all three. Just let me find a place.”
He drove down a promising street and found a familiar chain restaurant. “How’s this?” He parked and came around the vehicle to help her out of her booster seat.
“Fine. Can I take Snowflake with me?” She hugged the toy cat with both arms.
“I think Snowflake would be happier in the car,” Rush said. “Look how pretty and white he is. What if you dropped him on the floor or spilled ketchup on him?”
“I don’t like ketchup.”
“Well, he could still get dirty. Or you could put him down and forget to take him back to the car.”
“I wouldn’t do that.”
“Leave him and come on, Clara.” He was still getting used to her new name. “Snowflake can keep the booster seat warm for you.”
“Oh, okay.” She climbed out of the booster seat and put the cat where she’d been sitting. “Let’s go,” she said.
Rush took her hand and let her lead him into the restaurant.
Damn it, but he’d missed her.
In their booth, she took off her coat and let it fall behind her on the seat. Underneath she was wearing a short pink dress that was knit like a sweater, with flowered leggings. Sonya had always dressed her in fussy, girly clothes. She looked adorable in them, but she was going to need something more durable for the ranch.
What if she hated it there? She wasn’t used to cold weather, large animals, mud and snow, or sharing a run-down house, including the bathroom, with three big, gruff men. Keeping this little girl for the holidays could turn out to be a big mistake.
“What would you like on your hamburger?” he asked Clara as the waitress came to take their order.
“Just meat and a bun. You know that, Daddy.”
“Yes, I do.” He gave the rest of the order, wondering whether he should exp
lain that he wasn’t really her daddy. Skip it for now, he decided. Clara was too young to have a clue about the birds and the bees. But hearing her say the word was like a gut punch.
“Annie says you live on a ranch,” Clara said while they waited for their meals. “Will there be cowboys?”