I found that endearing and terrifying at the same time. I latched onto the most acceptable explanation. “You’ve been out of town a lot this year.”
“Yeah, I guess so.” But he didn’t seem convinced by that answer, as though there were another one he was considering.
I didn’t think it was helpful to my heart to let him contemplate any other explanation, so I said, “Well, at least you don’t have to make a run to the drugstore tonight.”
“Indeed.” He snatched up a packet and climbed onto the bed. “Where were we?”
“You were about to be inside me.”
“Oh, yeah. Lucky me.”
I smiled. “You say the funniest things.”
“Glad I amuse you.” He leaned over and kissed me, his tongue delving deep, tangling with mine. He had the ability to ma
ke me lose myself in his kisses. They were long and sensuous. So arousing, they made me think of nothing but sex with this particular ex.
When he pulled away, I felt lightheaded. My hand rested on the hard ledge of his pectoral muscles.
“You are truly magnificent,” I told him.
“Not exactly irresistible, though.”
My fingers skimmed over his chest. I scraped a nipple with my nail, making him jolt beside me. “You have no idea how tempting you really are.”
“Yet, you manage to keep your distance.”
“I have issues with intimacy, remember?”
He shook his head. “Tonight, you don’t.”
Of course, he was right. My palm flattened against his rigid abdomen. “Maybe it’s just perfect timing on both our parts.”
He seemed to give this some thought, then agreed. “Sometimes it all falls into place.”
I couldn’t argue with that. He’d listened to my ranting and accepted my fears. Then he’d turned the tables on me and made me see that I was the one who’d taken the easy way out when the proverbial going had gotten tough.
“I do like that you challenge me.” My hand moved lower and I rubbed his hard cock, which pulsed under my touch. I admitted, “You’re exasperating sometimes, but no more so than me.”
“Agreed.” His voice was a bit darker, a bit sexier. “You know, we’re really not so different.”
I eyed him curiously. “How do you figure?”
“Why do you think I’ve been commitment shy for so long?”
I stared at him for several moments before realization dawned on me. My hand stilled. “It happened to you too.”
He nodded. “When I was nineteen. Granted, it wasn’t mature love, but at that age…I don’t know. Things like that are traumatic when you’re a teenager. Devastating.”
“Yeah, I can imagine.”
I moved my hand upward, along his warm skin and hard muscles until my fingers grazed his jaw. I was stunned by his admission, but also touched by it. We’d never talked about this part of his past before. It wasn’t exactly a subject I knew how to broach. Asking something like, “Exactly why do you enjoy screwing a different woman every couple of weeks?” never seemed like polite conversation. Now I knew why he’d never brought it up.
“I’m sorry.”
“It was ten years ago. I’m pretty much over it.”
I tilted my head to one side and regarded him thoughtfully for a moment. I realized now he hadn’t been sympathetic when I’d cried on his shoulder about Seth. He’d been empathetic. He hadn’t pitied me. He’d understood me. Because he’d known how it felt to be deceived and betrayed. His course of action had obviously been to date hot women and never settle down with one in particular. Mine had been to hide. Neither one of us were right.