He’d come here a couple of times over the past month, for no reason other than it seemed to be the one place he could think about her and let his emotions move through him when he wasn’t around anyone at the castle to take his angst and frustration out on. Or for them to take note over how much he missed her.
As he’d told Sheena, forgiveness was not the issue at hand. How to reconcile with Jade and find some sort of tranquility between them was, so they could be together. Yet even as he contemplated that idea, he wondered if it was too late. He’d let a lot of time slip by without seeing her or communicating with her in any form. Not exactly the best means to express one’s love for another.
He shook his head. As much as he’d like to blame his inability to reach out to Jade these past several weeks on his lack of romantic experience, he couldn’t rely on that shortcoming as an excuse. The truth was, he’d considered not reconnecting with her because the obstacles seemed too great—and threatened his sanity when it came to her daredevil ways.
This still weighed heavy on his mind when he heard Thunder neigh softly, in both welcome to an unexpected visitor and in warning to Darien. Moments later, the sound of booted feet on the stone steps caused his pulse to spike. He knew who was about to join him before Jade crested the landing.
She walked slowly toward him, tension oozing from her.
Her gaze slid to the view he had, and then she said, “Master of all you survey, hmm?”
He hopped down from the ledge. “Not all.” Not her, certainly. He took her in from head to toe, dressed in black leggings and a lightweight sweater. She had mud on her hands and knees, along with a few smudges on her face. “Starting your gardening?” he mused, keeping his tone light, though his gut wrenched with myriad emotions at the sight of her.
An overwhelming urge to pull her into his arms and kiss her, forgetting all about the fact she constantly defied him and put herself in harm’s way, overcame him. But he resisted the temptation.
She said, “Actually, I’ve been looking for the necklace. Sheena has been helping too. At night when I have my watch.”
His brow dipped. “You’re rooting around on hands and knees?”
“I’m going to find the pendant and return it to you,” she insisted. “I don’t care what it takes.”
He stepped toward her, held out his hand and uncurled his fingers. In his palm lay the Star of Nadia.
She gasped and relief seemed to wash over her. “You found it. Thank God!” She pressed a hand to her chest. “I am so happy.”
Closing the gap between them, he said, “Take it.”
Her head shook sharply and her eyes grew wide. “Absolutely not.”
“I gave it to you as a gift. It’s yours.”
“No,” she said, her voice suddenly cracking. “You gave it to someone you thought you loved.”
“I gave it to someone I do love.” He stared down at her, gauging her reaction to his words.
Her lips quivered and her blue eyes misted. “When you love someone, you don’t shut them out of your life. I’ve learned that recently.”
He thought of Sheena’s comment about not visiting Jade a while back, and accepted that his absence had likely hurt Jade. So he clearly hadn’t been the only one to suffer through the time and distance.
As a peculiar apprehension gripped him, he said, “I haven’t yet figured out how to be with you and not try to control everything you do. Not from an arrogant or tyrannical standpoint, but because if something happened to you…” He felt a burning sensation in his heart over the hypothetical horror.
In a quiet voice, Jade said, “I told you that you have to accept the fact I’m human and mortal. I will die.”
“It doesn’t have to be that way,” he ground out.
“You can’t protect me every second of the day, Darien. Nor would I want to be so stifled. I’ve come to terms with what I’m capable of and I can’t bury my head in the sand any longer and live with the easy path in life. I want more. I want to help humans and demons. I want to be someone who makes a difference.”
She drew in a breath, as though to steady herself. “I might not be the perfect solution for world peace or the right woman to be your queen, but I can continue to learn about life on both sides of the border and help to build a bridge between our worlds.”
Contradictory thoughts assaulted Darien’s mind, waging a war in his brain as to whether he should give in or continue to push back. But a prevailing notion overruled everything sensible he had to say on the matter. He wasn’t one to let his emotions trump his rationale, yet one glaring fact could not be overlooked. Even as agitated and confused as he’d been the past month—and each time Jade had been injured—he couldn’t deny the fact he respected her tenacity. Nor could he let go of his love for her.
Sweeping aside his pride, he asked, “Do you understand the concept of compromise?”
One corner of her mouth lifted, as though she were about to smirk at him. But then it dipped and she frowned instead. “In theory,” she admitted.
“That seems to be my problem as well.”
She studied him curiously then asked, “What are you getting at?”