Because he’d been incredibly forthcoming from the onset about his attraction to her, his growing feelings, everything.
She wasn’t just here with him, at his estate, because it was the safest place for her. She had no doubt there was a sanctuary on the ops campus or some other location that would ensure no one got to her. She wasn’t just in his bedroom because there were no others available.
And he wasn’t going through hell right along with her because she was a mere pawn in this game.
She was so much more than that.
To him.
“Goddamn it,” she murmured.
He was equally tormented.
And that broke her heart further.
As her eyelids drifted open, she pinned him with a solemn, misty-eyed look, and said, “I don’t know how to be locked in hell with you, Damen.” She drew in a deep breath. Let it out slowly. “Nor do I know how to escape it.”
He understood her words. And the tension gripping her.
It radiated through him as well.
Damen dragged a hand down his face. Shifted it around to his nape and rubbed the knot there.
This was all kinds of bad and wrong.
But it wasn’t a new scenario for him. He’d been contemplating how to handle this situation from the moment it’d struck him that the device could compromise her computer.
He returned her intent look, saying, “We can’t do anything at the moment, Nikki. Not for a few hours, at any rate. The best we can do is get some rest.”
“You really think I can sleep?” she challenged. “My mind is whirling, I need to pace and… I think I fucking need a Xanax. Which I have not taken since Conner’s death.”
His teeth clenched.
Fuck, he was twisting the knife so deeply into her—and it plunged deeper into him as well.
He offered, “How about some brandy, instead?”
“That’s much too civilized.” And the hard glint in her eyes backed up her statement. She was pissed beyond all belief, in addition to being shredded.
“Tequila? Jack Daniels?”
“Definitely whisky.”
With a sharp nod, he spun around and headed to the wet bar. He splashed the amber liquid into two tumblers, then returned to the bed, where she still stood.
He took advantage of his long reach to hand over her glass without having to get too close to her. Necessary for two reasons. One, he wouldn’t put it past her to slug him in the gut. And he’d deserve it. Two, he wouldn’t put it past himself to grab her around the waist and pull her to him.
He wanted t
o hold her. More than he wanted his next breath.
He’d have to settle for the burn of alcohol down his throat, instead.
She took a sip, then murmured, “How did this get so damn complicated?”
“We took an unexpected liking to each other.” Even as he spoke the words, he grimaced. That statement hardly covered what was really going on between them. Rather… “It’s so much more than that. So much more than a surface attraction or sexual chemistry. We’re wrapped up in each other, Nikki. Admit it.”
“What good will that do?” she countered. “Please, Damen… Tell me.”