Kate let out another long, rasping breath. “I’m preaching to the choir, aren’t I?”
“You know what didn’t happen with Britney Collins. You know I can abstain from actual penetration. You know why I have. What you don’t know,” he explained, “is that I still needed some sort of confirmation, validation, that I can please a woman…because the one I truly wanted wasn’t giving me the time of day.” He gazed more pointedly at Kate.
Who, in a very careful tone, ventured, “You found reassurance simply by getting other women off?”
His brow crooked further. “Too shallow? Does that make me an asshole? I mean, I never gave any indication we’d be embarking on a romantic journey. It was just sex with them, Kate. In the pared-down form, obviously.”
Kate’s fingertips skated over his temple and swept into his hair. “As it pertains to me…I find that terribly romantic. In the oddest way.” She gave a slight shake of her head and a faint laugh escaped her parted lips.
“It’s difficult to understand,” he conceded. “I get that.”
“Not entirely. You wanted me. But knew you couldn’t have me. However…on that off-chance the opportunity arose—”
“Had to make sure I was still at the top of my game.”
Her expression turned shrewd.
“Fuck,” Jude mumbled. “You see right through me. Yes, it was critical to maintain my confidence. But—”
“I can’t fathom for a second you having doubts about your skills in this area, Jude.”
“It was a rough haul, remember, Kate?”
“True,” she agreed.
“But I also wanted to relieve some of that tension I harbored, because of you. It just wasn’t an option to achieve that…with you. Not physically, at any rate. Mentally, however… Well, those showers certainly came in handy.”
“You couldn’t find the release you needed with those women, but you did with me…in your fantasies.”
“Every single fucking time.”
“Jude…” Her hand glided along his strands of hair, down to the side of his throat, her feathery touch teasing him senseless. Making him restless. Making him move inside her. Languidly. Leisurely.
Kate gasped…ever so softly.
“What?” he murmured. “You don’t think I can be hard for you again in a heartbeat?”
“It’s just…this is bordering on dangerous.”
“Bordering?” he countered with a serious look.
“Neither one of us are well-equipped to deal with this sort of entanglement, Jude.”
“Don’t analyze it, Kate.” His head dipped and he kissed her as he pressed deeper into her. Then he whispered, “Just give into it.”
Kate did. And after he made her come again, Jude kissed her, so blazingly hot, she remained locked in his intensity. His raw and passionate desire for her.
Even as Jude eventually and slowly withdrew from her, more ripples of pleasure ran through Kate, surprising her. There literally was no evading how thoroughly he affected her.
Though…when Jude stood and she admired his powerful physique, every magnificent inch of him, Kate couldn’t overlook how her adoration for him transcended her attraction to him, the chemistry that sparked so naturally when they were together.
Kate had become emotionally invested in this man years ago. Clearly, it was a two-way street.
While Jude ducked into the restroom adjacent to her living room, Kate grabbed the fringed ice-blue satin throw from the chaise-lounger attached to her plush, white sectional that faced the tall windows. She wrapped the material around her body and tucked an end in at her breasts.
Her mind churned with thoughts of how their relationship had progressed, and Kate knew she had to explain to Jude the more complex details of her career evolution. Her extensive, impending travel plans. He deserved to know the whole truth from her, including all the risk factors inherent to the venture, which Nikki had never glossed over and which Kate accepted as part of their mission.
As Jude sauntered back into the living room, Kate scooped up a few articles of his clothing, handing over his briefs and pants.