Damn-near impossible.
But not entirely.
Though he’d been a rebel from an early age and had survived the vast majority of his life on his own—Jude had explained his mother was a drug trafficker who went to prison, he had no idea who his father was and McMillan was the name Jude legally gave himself when he turned eighteen—the one thing Jude had always craved, the one thing that had been elusive, was a true family. People who loved and supported one another through thick and thin.
Kate’s heart wrenched suddenly. It never ceased to astound her how well she knew Jude McMillan. To the depths of his soul—because he’d permitted her to delve that deep. Had needed her to delve that deep.
What he’d encountered, sexually, over the past few years was in the vein of assuaging guilt and attempting to move on. Release the pain and all that simmering intensity. It was the same with his fighting. He didn’t intentionally get into altercations at a bar or on the street. Rather, he’d trained professionally and had legitimately entered the world of MMA fighting. Had strategically moved up in ranks and could honestly make a career in the octagon. But that had never been his goal. Working out all the kinks in his system was the ultimate objective for Jude.
Sleeping with Kate seemed to be another ultimate objective for him—one he’d fulfilled, and yet… Jude wanted more.
Kate could see it crystal-clear in his smoldering eyes. In his hard-set jaw. In his squared shoulders and the calculating tilt of his chin.
Hell, it radiated from him more vibrantly than his tension.
Therefore, Kate tactically suggested, “It might behoove you to consult someone while I’m making all of these travel preparations, Jude.”
The corner of his tempting mouth quirked in a sexy smirk. “Afraid I can’t handle a little distance, Doc? I waited three years to get naked with you. Remember?” he sardonically added.
Kate fought the smile teasing her lips. Maintaining her stance, she said, “I’m merely making a recommendation. I think you’d find Dr. Lyle an engaging and personable substitute for me. He’s quite—”
“There is no substitute for you, Kate.” Jude’s hands shot out and he clasped her upper arms. Kate barely had the chance to take a breath before he hauled her up against his hunky body and kissed her with that fervent reckless abandon only he’d mastered.
Every fiber of her being ignited. So that she melted into him once more.
He loosened his grip on her and Kate slipped her arms around his neck, returning the kiss with all the passion Jude incited.
She hadn’t intended to leave things between them in this way. In fact, Kate had hoped to make a clean break. Say goodbye and walk out that door, allowing both her and Jude the severed tie. The fantasies would linger, she had no delusions there.
But the tie would be severed.
Would have been severed.
But Kate had aided in jacking that program, because here she was, completely incapable of breaking the kiss, pushing him away and retreating, as she’d always been prone to do in dangerous situations such as this.
Well, in any situation with Jude. He was the only danger she’d ever encountered. And yes, he was a threat to everything Kate was attempting to accomplish. Truthfully, all the man had to do was lift her off her feet, back them into the bedroom and she’d fall onto that ultra-comfy mattress with him again and get twisted up in the rumpled, bazillion-thread-count sheets.
All bad and wrong. She had plans for the day. And every additional second spent glued to Jude, absorbing his heat and sweltering under his touch and his kiss, had thoughts of those previously mentioned plans fading to black.
So she gathered the strength—from Lord only knew where—to drag her mouth from Jude’s, unlock her arms from his neck and step out of his embrace.
Naturally, his disappointment resonated all around them—without him even saying a word.
As a peace offering, Kate told him, “I’m on borrowed time here, Jude. Got a car coming for me at my apartment and I don’t want to keep anyone waiting.”
“I don’t want you thinking this is over, Kate. That we’re over.”
She gaped.
He continued to stare at her.
“Jude,” she said on a faint breath…when she finally found her voice. “We had an arrangement we both made good on. I did treat last night as a real date, and as much as I believe I probably should have insisted on returning to my place, alone, at the end of said date…I don’t regret that we came here. I don’t regret any of it—everything we did. But I do have other responsibilities.”
“And I’m not trivializing them. You know I never would.”
She nodded.
He said, “I’m just not inclined to deny or ignore the fact we connected on a level that went far beyond doctor/patient; far beyond the psychological. We’re hot for each other, Kate. I know exactly what you want, how you like it. I’m more than happy to keep giving it to you.”