“Okay… fine. Just go get the food,” I suggest. “Then I'll get you all caught up.”
She practically skips out of the car and into the restaurant, dashing back out with two large plastic bags in her hands that she drops into the back seat before sliding back in next to me and buckling her seatbelt once again. Then she claps her hands lightly under her chin.
“Okay! Tell me all about it!” she squeals.
I pull back out into traffic, happy that I don’t have to look directly at her. It’s all so strange and ticklish in my mind, just think about it makes me blush fiercely.
“Well first, I want to say that I did not appreciate you telling him about that dream I had.”
“About the… oh, right!” she sighs, remembering. “Well, it was a good dream. Hot.”
Slowing at a red light, I flip on the turn signal and lean forward to check cross traffic.
“But it was a secret!” I remind her. “I thought we had like a pact or something. And then you just went ahead and laid it on him, right off the bat like that!”
“Fair enough, it was a super-secret sex dream. But then again, what if I hadn't?” she counters.
“What is that supposed to mean?”
She sighs through her nose, drumming her fingers impatiently on her knee. “Dahlia, tell the truth. What was your real plan there?”
“It wasn't my plan. It was your plan, remember?”
“Exactly! And the moment that I turned my back on you, you were going to wimp out, right?”
“I was not going to wimp out,” I protest.
“You were totally going to wimp out!” She rolls her eyes. “If I hadn't jumped you in there with both feet, you would never have done anything. Come on. Admit it.”
I just shake my head, even though maybe she's got a point.
“You know, I just figure the best strategy is always just to go for it,” she muses, staring out the window as we drive through my subdivision. “I mean, I know that you are all caution and baby steps, but I've always subscribed to the idea that immediate gratification is the very best kind of gratification. Just go for it!”
Rolling into the driveway, I notice August’s BMW parked behind my dad's car. My heart leaps in my chest.
“Oh, he's here,” Bunny purrs. “Well, now, would you look at that?”
“Oh, my gosh, how am I supposed to face him?!”
My cheeks go hot, reddening instantly. Bunny gives me a sidelong look.
“You're gonna be fine,” she tells me in a commanding voice. “You own this, okay?”
“I don’t feel like I own anything right now!” I confess quickly.
“Dammit, Dahlia, would you please just stop it?”
“Stop what?”
She slaps her thighs with her palms in frustration.
“Stop acting like such a wimp!” she huffs. “Where's the old Dahlia? The one who never gets upset or ruffled or anything?”
“I don't even know what you are talking about.”
“Yes you do. You always have your shit together, Dahlia, okay? It's one of the things I love about you. So get your shit together. Own this situation. Stop acting like such a nervous Nelly!”
I sigh through my nose, shaking my head. She's right, I guess. I need to get my old self back online. Even I am not comfortable with this tentative, nervous version of me.