Page 86 of Dirty Sweet Cowboy

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I sip at my Shirley Temple, shrugging and chewing on the end of my straw .

“Can’t I just come to visit?” I ask innocently. “I love what you’ve done with the place. It looks really nice in here .”

He nods stubbornly, looking around with his jaw set. I’m sure he’s proud. Aden has been working on carpentry projects since high school. He probably did most of this with his own two hands .

“Yeah, but the rem

odel was two and a half years ago. Didn’t you see it then?” he asks, knowing full well that I didn’t .

“Yeah, I think you were just about done the last time I saw it,” I mumble, not sure if I’m right or not. I have definitely not been spending as much quality time with my family I should have been .

He just nods, smiling thinly. I hear the accusation in his voice, but what am I going to do about that now? He’s been under a lot of stress, so I avoided him. Frankly, the whole restaurant business has been something I’ve been happily willing to avoid ever since the drama with the Mercers. That may not be very sisterly of me, but at least it kept me out of trouble .

Until now, that is .

“So, did you come here to try the food? You want to write a review?” he jokes, knowing full well that I would do whatever he needed me to do if he would just ask. He would never ask, of course .

“Actually, I thought maybe we could talk,” I finally sigh .

“It’s about time,” he grumbles. “You ready to come clean ?”

“I just want everybody to be happy,” I say, totally trying to dodge the question. “I don’t like this feeling where everybody’s waiting to be mad at me. I don’t like it at all. This is supposed to be so happy, and I’m just stressed out all the time .”

He shrugs one shoulder, mangling a plastic straw between his fingertips. “Well, that’s your decision, right? Didn’t you give us a big speech about how you’re an adult and everything? Everybody is just going along with your decisions, Ava. Everybody .”

I take a few cleansing breaths, turning the glass in place on the bar. Water condenses on the outside and forms a little puddle underneath .

“Well, maybe I was wrong about that,” I begin. “Maybe I shouldn’t be shutting everybody out. Because it doesn’t matter at all. Right? I mean, the most important thing is I’m supposed to be having healthy babies, right ?”

“Yeah, that’s definitely the best part,” he says. “Nothing else should really matter. So you ready to talk about this? To bring the father into this discussion ?”

I sit up straight in my chair, folding my fingers together. I look him over, noting how he’s trying to seem relaxed, but he isn’t. That vein is twitching and jumping at his temple, like it does just before he freaks out. He’s under control, but just barely .

The front door opens, and the hostess greets a couple of men in khaki pants and pale blue polo shirts, then takes them to a table by the window .

“All I want is a good relationship with everybody. With the father, especially. I definitely want to try to have a relationship with him and the babies. All of us, together .”

Aden narrows his eyes at me. His nostrils start to flare. “You came all this way to talk to me, and you still think that you’re not going to tell me who the father is ?”

“That’s not really the most important detail, is it?” I counter. My voice sounds meek, thin. It’s not my strongest argument, I have to admit .

“Because I think I already know who it is, Ava,” he says in a low voice, leaning toward me .

“Aden, I didn’t come here to fight with you. I came here because… you’re my brother. Because it would really mean a lot to me if you could have, you know, a better attitude about this .”

“A better attitude about this?” he repeats, his voice rising in volume. “A better attitude , Ava? After you spent the last few weeks pretending like I’m stupid? Like I don’t know exactly what happened ?”

“Aden, you have customers,” I remind him in a whisper. The bartender looks over at us, alarmed .

Aden slides off his barstool, scrubbing his face with the heel of his hand. He paces a few steps in either direction then comes back to me .

“Aden, I just want you to try. I just want us all to be happy .”

He shakes his head, then looks up at the ceiling, then glares at the television. He’s having a conversation with himself, I can tell .

“It’ll kill them, Ava,” he mumbles. “You don’t even understand. It will absolutely kill them .”

“No, you don’t understand,” I snap back, suddenly. “You’re my brother. I’m coming to you to ask you for help. You owe me that. So suck it up, Aden !”


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