Carter waves his hands to stop me. “I don’t need details. She’s like Anna, man. I’ve been living with her hanging around here almost as long as our actual sister. But wouldn’t it be easier to just talk to her? To stop torturing yourself and just find out how she feels from her directly ?”
“Because why would I make this easy on myself ?”
Carter laughs. “You’ve always been like this, haven’t you? You know, in spite of you being kind of a jerk, I’ve missed you, Hawk .”
I sit back down and put my arms around him, realizing how much I’ve missed my brothers while I’ve been gone. I also realized that in all my time in Los Angeles, I’ve been deeply, and soul-crushingly, alone. Maybe I’ve never realized it before, or maybe I just didn’t want to admit it to myself. But despite all of the women, and the work, and the fancy parties, and the expensive vacations, I have spent my entire adult life completely alone .
And I don’t want to be alone anymore. Whatever that means admitting to myself, whatever changes that means making .
I’m tired of being alone. And this is what I’ve missed. Not only my family, but Parrish .
Parrish
T winkle lights are sparkling from every corner of the ranch, and the music of the only local band that is any good is echoing from every corner. People from town are mingling with investors that Sam has invited from all over Montana, and the men responsible for building the stable are laughing and drinking by the buffet table. Anna and Gracie are on the dance floor, and Sid joins them. I feel my heart swell at the sight of everyone so happy, and having so much fun. I’m standing behind the serving dish, helping people with entrees, and chatting with investors, when Carter walks up with a grin .
“I’m having some serious deja vu,” he says with a laugh .
I freeze for a second, and then it clicks. “Oh, god. Graduation. That’s the last time we were all together like this, wasn’t it? Though… I don’t remember you being at graduation .”
“Of course you don’t. That’s the night you met Hawk .”
My eyes go wide, and Carter stuffs a roll in his mouth .
“What are you talking about?” I ask as I hand the serving spoon to someone else and follow Carter while he tries to run away from me .
“Nothing,” he mumbles through a mouth full of roll. I grab his jacket and pull him back .
“Spill it, Carter. Now,” I growl. He scrunches up his face and sighs .
“I know about you and Hawk, Parrish. Now, and when we were kids. I appreciate why we kept quiet about it for so long, but really. There is no point to any of this anymore. You like him. He likes you. Figure it out, kid.” He pats me on the shoulder a few times, then wanders off in the direction of the dessert table. And I am left standing in the middle of the grassy pasture, staring off at the party, wondering what I should do next. I don’t even know how long I have been standing here when Anna walks up to me, looking perplexed .
“Parrish? What are you doing? You look like a deer in the headlights, honey .”
I turn to her, feeling like I might cry. “Anna, do you think I have feelings for Hawk ?”
Now it’s Anna’s turn to freeze. “Parrish, I don’t think it’s my place to …”
“Anna, just tell me .”
She sighs and checks around her, to make sure no one else has wandered up. “Yeah, I think it’s pretty obvious you two have something going on. And maybe it’s time to acknowledge it, instead of running from it. Especially because you’re running out of time to discuss it properly, before he leaves. And we know Hawk. There is no telling when he might come back .”
I feel the color drain from my cheeks. “Do you really think he’d do that again ?”
She shrugs. “I don’t know. But is it worth taking the chance ?”
I shake my head. “No. It’s not. Do you know where he is ?”
Anna glances over her shoulder. “I think he’s over by the new stables. He was checking the doors again. He’s been OCD about that since he actually built that part himself .”
I laugh. “Fair. Okay. I’m going to do it. And Anna, thank you. For everything. For being you. For being my sister .”
Anna hugs me, then shoves me in the direction of the new stables. “I love you. Now get out of here .”
I jog toward the bright, shining lights of beautiful new building and am a little surprised to see that no one is really over there. For the most part, everyone seems to be sticking to the food and the alcohol. The tours of the stables were earlier, so my guess is the free booze is a bigger draw .
I walk around the edge of the
building, and then, when I get to the door, I see Hawk standing by the stall we’ve designated for Moonfire. And he’s talking to Simone .