She nodded.
“Say it.” I couldn’t explain it, but I needed to hear my name on her lips.
Lindsay looked hesitant, and was likely confused by my request, but she wasn’t brave enough to refuse it. “Ben,” she whispered with her head bent.
“Look at me and say it, Lindsay.”
Slowly, her head lifted, and her gaze met mine. Her cheeks were flushed, and her plump lips trembled for a moment. “Ben.”
It satisfied me in a way I couldn’t explain as I relaxed against the seat. “Thank you. Now, give me your address. I’ll tell Hector.”
Chapter 6
Lindsay
Thanks to Ben’s generous loan of his car and driver, I was able to grab my things from the apartment and bring them back to the Imperial in a flash. I left a note for the other girls who shared the old place with me let them know I wouldn’t be back. I also left a check for my part of the last month’s rent and managed to slip away before I had to see or talk with any of them.
After that, it was a smooth drive back to his apartment, though the traffic was the usual nightmare. Seated in t
he back of the limousine, I opened my phone and Googled Ben and Ashe’s names, trying to find out more about the divorce. I told myself it was so I could help Elle, but I knew that wasn’t entirely true. There was definitely a dose of unhealthy curiosity motivating my search, but I refused to look too far into why I might be so interested in the details of their failed marriage.
There were a plethora of articles from two years ago, and while most were from the society pages, some were about legal proceedings. I couldn’t find information on what had prompted the divorce, but I started to piece it together from the many headlines. There were two different ones screaming that Ashe had gone to rehab, and then a third from an undisclosed source who claimed Ashe was using again after losing custody of Elle.
The custody battle itself seemed to expand three months and generated multiple articles with salacious headlines. It sounded like it had been vicious, but Ben had won in the end. Considering Ashe was a drug addict, I wasn’t surprised. If she was as uninvolved with Elle as she’d been when I used to babysit for them, I was kind of surprised she’d bothered trying to get custody at all. Maybe she did it to punish Ben?
By the time I finished snooping, we were close to the Imperial, and I had just enough time to slide my phone into my bag and grab my two suitcases as the car pulled up in front of the building. When it slid into one of the designated spots for limousines, Hector opened the door for me and I popped out. “Thank you.”
He nodded. “Just call if you need me, Ms. Valentine. Mr. Hudson told me to make your calls a priority, especially if you have Miss Elle.” As he spoke, he reached into his pocket and extracted a business card. “My personal cell phone is on there as well. Feel free to use it if you need it.”
I nodded my appreciation as I took the card, and awkwardly stuck it in my pocket while juggling my bags.
At that moment, Bill appeared and took the largest one for me. He nodded to Hector, and it was obvious they knew each other. The doorman turned to face me. “May I offer you a hand getting your things upstairs, Miss Lindsay?”
I waited to answer until I’d stepped onto the curb, and the door closed behind me. “I think I can manage it now. Thank you though.”
It felt weird have people fawning over me, and offering assistance for every little thing. Ever since my mother had died when I was younger, I’d pretty much done everything for myself. My dad loved me, but he was too self-absorbed to realize that I hadn’t been a fully self-sufficient adult at just thirteen years old. I’d had to finish growing up quickly, and being Elle’s babysitter had actually helped in that regard. It taught me a sense of responsibility, and it helped me develop a nurturing side. Lord knows the little girl had needed one, with Ashe always busy flitting in and out and Ben constantly working. To this day, I’m not sure if Ben realizes just how often I had been at their home to take care of their child, but he was working long hours and Ashe was doing whatever it was she did.
In a way, their home had become a refuge of my own, and Elle had been an integral part of my life. I hadn’t been able to focus on my own grief and mourning to the point of wallowing in it when she’d needed care and attention. In retrospect, I’d been far too young and overwhelmed to really have that much responsibility for the baby if I had, but I’d like to think we made a positive impact on each other’s lives.
It broke my heart when they’d moved away, and it’d been too far for me to be a babysitter. By that point, Ben Hudson had been wealthy enough to afford a full-time nanny, and I wouldn’t have been in the running for that. There was no way my dad would’ve made sure I got back and forth to babysit for them even if the option had been given to me, so I had watched them pack and move away with a heavy heart, certain I would never see Elle again, and heartbroken that I would even catch a glimpse of Ben. There was no love lost for Ashe. She had been someone to deal with rather than a person I liked and cared about.
That was why this opportunity such a blessing, and not simply because it solved my tuition problem, at least for the semester. It was a chance to reconnect with Elle and maybe help her move past the hurt she obviously still carried. That was a worthwhile goal, and I was happy to have an opportunity to do something meaningful.
I was not latching on to the idea of trying to get Ben to notice me though. It was bad enough that I was still attracted to him, and it was worse that it was a far more intense attraction than it had ever been when I was a child. As a tween and in my early teen years, I couldn’t have comprehended how intense desire could be as an adult. My fantasies had been tame and mostly consisted of longing looks and holding hands, along with an occasional stolen kiss. I wouldn’t have even known how to imagine a real kiss back then, and the idea of Ben kissing me in the gallant and chaste way I had imagined made me giggle as I stepped into the elevator.
But, on the way up to Ben’s floor, I shoved aside all thoughts of him. I barely had time to dump my bags on the bed before leaving the apartment again to catch the subway to Columbia.
After dropping off the tuition check, and thankfully receiving no complaint since it wasn’t on my father’s account, I rushed to class. I did my best to take notes, but my head was elsewhere. I was determined to find a way to help Elle, even if I wasn’t the most qualified person to do it.
Reluctantly, I called for Hector at two thirty with my last class finished, because I wouldn’t make it on time to Elle’s exclusive private school on the subway, and I wanted to be there to greet her. We drew up in front of the building a few minutes before class let out. It was surprising to find out that we weren’t the only limousine. There were several up and down the street in front of the school, along with an exclusive list of luxury cars that could have come straight from a luxury dealership. I hopped out of the car without waiting for Hector to open the door when I heard the bell ring, scanned the crowd of little heads and waved when I caught sight of Elle. Her face brightened, and though she seemed surprised to see me, she broke into a run and threaded her way through the crowd of kids. I thought she might rush to hug me, but she drew up short a couple of feet away, and her expression was wary. It broke my heart, but I managed to keep a friendly smile. “Hey there.”
“Hi.” She sounded shy. “I didn’t know you were coming to pick me up. Dad hardly ever has time to do that.”
I didn’t bother to ask if Ashe ever did, since I knew she hadn’t taken visitation and clearly wasn’t involved in her daughter’s life in any other way. “I hope you don’t mind. I thought we could stop and grab a slice of pizza, and maybe drop in at the toy store.
Elle shook her head. “Sorry. I don’t have time. I have a lot of homework.”
I frowned as I opened the door for her to slip in before I followed. I took a seat beside her as she sat primly with her hands folded on her lap, her bookbag on the seat between us. “You’re in second grade, right?” At her nod, I asked, “What kind of homework could you have?”