I shrug nonchalantly. “Schmoozing and networking. It’s about who you know,” I explain.
“Yeah,” she says slowly. “Are you trying to ask me for a job, Bunny?”
“Who me? I’m not asking you for anything, Dahlia,” I snap defensively. “As a matter of fact, I don’t think you even appreciate me. I wouldn’t even ask you for a job.”
Dahlia nods slowly, and I turn away, hoping this polite smile I’ve got plastered on my face sticks for a while. This is a mistake. I never should have come here. I don’t even know why I would think Dahlia would have a solution for me. I’ve always kind of felt like she’s looked down on me. Now that she’s got her perfect fairytale life, I think I’ve even dropped down another couple of notches on the scale.
I feel him coming, even before he gets there. Dahlia straightens in her chair, her spine going rod straight as she raises her eyebrows attentively. August swoops in, his iPad held out in front of him.
“Hold on, let me ask Dahlia,” he says as he steps right into the middle of our conversation. He holds the iPad out to her and she smiles her plastic, professional smile as she takes it from him.
“What’s up?” she chirps in her fake voice, pivoting the iPad so it probably can see both of them at the same time.
Over my other shoulder, I hear something strange. Some kind of wet, urgent sound. Dahlia’s eyes flicker that way, then back to the screen.
But it doesn’t stop, even as she is saying hello to whomever is on August’s video conference.
“Yes… sure…” she says in a louder voice, trying to block the videoconference person from hearing what’s going on. “I mean, it’s not our usual thing? But if you’re really in a bind?”
The sound gets louder, and I realize the nursery must be right here behind one of these doors. It’s Knox, probably just waking up from a nap. As his cries get louder they pierce the air, slicing right through the middle of Dahlia’s extremely brittle facade of composure. Her smile goes wide and manic. It makes me want to giggle, which is probably totally inappropriate.
“I’ll just get him!” I stage whisper, trying to be heard and not heard at the same time by the person on the video chat.
Before Dahlia has a chance to object, I slide off my seat and turn toward the sound. It has to be one of these doors here. The sound is not that far away, and he’s definitely getting louder by the second.
The other security people are dashing away, practically scurrying. Also fun! Boy, one crying baby can really take down a super-professional environment in a hurry!
I should’ve known it was this door because of the small elephant decal in the middle of the panel. But, I mean, it’s still reinforced steel? So, a baby’s nursery was not the first thing that sprang to my mind?
But as soon as I open the door, the sound gets even louder. I guess the reinforced steel provided a little bit of insulation, because his cries practically hit me like a punch to the face. He’s super mad, lying there with his fists balled up next to his crimson cheeks, howling in rage.
“Hey there, little fella!” I immediately begin to coo, rushing over to him. The crib is some kind of fancy contraption, and I can’t figure out how to slide the gate down, so I just reach over and take the little guy under the arms.
“Hey there! You’re okay! You’re okay!” I say to him as I cradle him against my shoulder, bouncing him gently. He’s yelling so hard I’m afraid is gonna make himself sick. He’s really hot to the touch and still shaking.
But it only takes a couple of seconds to figure out what’s going on. He got up from his nap, wet and hungry, and nobody was here. He yelled for help, and still nobody came.
“Perfectly reasonable requests,” I tell him as I poke through drawers and doors, looking for diapers. There are stacks and stacks of downy white blankets for no reason that I can figure out. Who really needs this many blankets?
“Oh my God, that is so cute,” I sigh as I open a drawer to find a few dozen onesies all neatly folded against each other. There are little camouflage onesies, little striped onesies. “Your daddy likes to dress you like a soldier! That’s a little messed up, Knox. Gotta be honest with you!”
At least he seems to like the tone of my voice. He is settling slowly, coughing as his cries become less urgent with more breathing space in between them.
“Okay, here we go, little man,” I smile at him as I lay him down on the small table and pull a diaper and some wipes from a cubby that’s hidden around the side. I don’t know why Dahlia thought she should hide the diapers, but who am I to judge?
He settles, scowling and staring at me suspiciously while I get him flat on the table, and remove that heavy, wet diaper. He’s cleaned up in a jiffy, kicking those adorable little chubby legs, finally giving me something like a smile. He’s only a few months old, but I can tell he’s got his dad’s suspicious nature. From the looks of it, I must’ve passed some kind of test and he slowly, carefully, lets his smile widen, gradually letting me know that he’s pleased.
“You want a new outfit before we go see Mommy? Maybe something in pinstripes? Something for the boardroom, Knox?”
Sure, why not? I know I don’t have to change his clothes, but it’s kind of fun. He is like a little doll! I find him a new outfit in dark blue with a pale gray stripe and get him dressed and ready to go. There’s a small, plastic brush with highly flexible bristles and I brush his whisper-soft hair, just a few times to get that cute little curl sticking right up off his forehead.
“Oh, aren’t you handsome! Ready to take over the world, I can tell. Let’s go see if Mommy’s ready to feed you, okay?”
When I pick him up again, he’s definite
ly more friendly. He is smacking his lips like he’s hungry, but not trying to burst my eardrums anymore. So, that’s an improvement.
As we come out of the nursery, I see that August and Dahlia both have their eyes locked on the door, even though they are still in their video chat. I shrug and raise my eyebrows, gesturing at their offspring as proof that I am not some maniac who’s trying to abduct anybody.