She glances away, her tone is light and charming, but her body language is a little bit defensive.
“But what about you?” she continues, nudging me with her shoulder while I dry my hands. “You probably have a Master’s by now, right? A doctorate? Two, maybe?”
“Um, no,” I answer uncomfortably. “Just a Bachelor’s… Teaching certificate. Early childhood education.”
“Oh, really!” she says, and her voice is so high-pitched I really don’t believe her. “Well that is nice!”
I shrug. “It is,” I assert, wishing that I could sound a little less defensive about it. “It’s exactly what I wanted.”
“Oh, sure it is, hon,” she sighs, squeezing my arm. “I just meant since you graduated early… I thought you would have a bunch of degrees by now. That’s all.”
“It’s only been a few years, Yoyo,” I grumble, picking my handbag back up off the marble sink. “So… Great to see you—”
“And those handsome stepbrothers of yours?” she asks suddenly, her keen interest resurfacing with a vengeance. “Are they totally millionaires already? Just like you said they would be?”
I shrug and look away. “Yeah… I guess so. They do pretty good. ”
“You don’t say!” she says, her voice getting louder. “Well, good for them! I always knew they would be tremendous. Just tremendous! And the big question: are they single?”
She’s got a little bit of lipstick on her teeth, which I could see because she’s grinning and leaning so close to me I can smell the Chardonnay on her breath.
“Well, yeah. I mean yes. They are.”
Yes, I tell myself. They are. Yes. That was a true answer to her question.
“Wow… I will have to look them up! Or maybe you could give me their numbers?”
“Actually, um, they’re here…”
I swallow hard to make myself shut up. Why would I say that? What the hell is wrong with me? She leans forward again, holding my arm between her fingers, her painted nails slightly digging in. She’s still smiling, but her features are frozen, like they have just suddenly turned to stone.
“Here? Like, in the restaurant?”
I nod, pulling my arm away delicately.
“See, now this is fate!” she announces emphatically. “I just knew it... I knew something good was going to happen this weekend! You know what I mean? You know how sometimes you can just feel things?”
I squint at her, trying to figure out what is going on. Was she always like this? Always this… I don’t even know the word. It is something to do with the tone of her voice. Like it’s coming out of an extruder. Like it’s strained through a mesh. Like it’s forced.
“I don’t know if I really understand…”
“I am practically ready to quit this job!” she scoffs, rolling her eyes dramatically as she slathers her pout in lip gloss. “Every day is practically torture. And they made me come to this conference. I was just ready to put in my two weeks’ notice! But then I thought… Free golf? Free dinner? Why shouldn’t I do that one more time? You know what I mean?”
“Sure.”
She stands back, clapping twice and then flinging her hands out dramatically.
“And look! You’re here! Get it? If I hadn’t come, I never would’ve bumped into you, Chelsea!”
“Yeah, that sure is a coincidence!”
I edge toward the door, ready to make a run for it. But she is quick. She reaches out and pokes me on the shoulder.
“So, hey? Where are you guys sitting? I’m at the bar.”
I clear my throat. “Oh… we’re in the dining room. I will tell them you said hi.”
“Lead the way!” she insists as though she didn’t just hear me trying to blow her off. “Oh my God, I can’t wait to see them!”