They exploded together within seconds of each other, their harsh breaths a symphony in the silence.
With her body’s utterly explosive climax came Pia’s tears, releasing everything she had been holding on to so tightly for weeks, afraid that if she voiced it, it would all fall apart.
She pushed at his shoulders and Raphael pulled out of her and slid her down to the ground gently. If he hadn’t held on to her, Pia would have slithered into a heap on the floor.
The scent of him curled around her. Made her body and mind automatically think he was hers. That he would never deceive her.
God, she was a naive idiot.
With gentle movements, he straightened her clothes. Pia jerked away from his touch. A guilty flush scoured his cheeks as he took in her actions. His mouth tightened, deep grooves etched around it.
“Please, let me go.”
He stared at her tears, as if he were fascinated by the sight of them. And sighed. “Bene.”
She buried her face in her hands. She was aware of every breath of his, of the shift and slide of his muscles as he pulled up his legs. She wanted to burrow into his embrace and sob like one of her students.
But how could he erase the hurt when he was the one who had caused it?
“Pia, was I rough?”
The tenderness in his voice almost broke her. “No.” The aftermath of her climax still made her body clench. “Yes, but I wanted it just as much as you did. I’m not breakable.”
His rough exhale said he’d been horribly worried about her answer. His worried gaze said he found no solace in it. “Not breakable, cara mia. Fragile.” He stared at his own hands as if looking for answers as to how to handle her there. He fisted them and she knew it was to stop himself from reaching out to her.
That he knew something was wrong between them offered no relief to the ache in her chest. Why hadn’t he fixed it, she wanted to ask. Wasn’t that what he was good at?
He ran a hand over his face. “Pia, whatever it is that’s bothering you, we will work through it. I… I admit that I have a problem with delegation at work. And I’m willing to find some middle ground.”
“It might be a little late now,” she said, hating the dejection in her voice.
He stilled. “What do you mean?”
“Why are you tender with me only before or after sex, Raphael? Why do you hide away, closet your emotions, shut me down when we’re not engaged in intimacy?”
This time, she definitely didn’t imagine the guilty look in his eyes. “You’re imagining things. I told you I’m not a man of sweet words.”
She snorted. And the bitterness in that sound appalled her. Was that what he had done to her? Had he achieved what Frank hadn’t? How could it be love when it hurt so much? “Please don’t insult my intelligence. You blow hot when it comes to sex and then cold the rest of the time. You twist me in knots. I’m not allowed to comment on your work life—”
“I just admitted that I have a problem.”
“I’m not allowed to talk about what is going on with Allegra. I’m not allowed to mention your father. Damn it, Raphael, I know half the things that are going on in your life because of your mother.”
He cursed hard and long. “She has upset you. I should’ve known. Pia, there’s nothing between me and Allegra. Do you have such little faith in me?”
“She did not upset me. Your actions did. God, Raphael, when were you going to tell me that you’re using our upcoming wedding, using me to deny Allegra even visiting rights to Alyssa? You want me to be a mother to your little girl, but I’m not allowed a say in it?”
“I will not force you to be a mother if you don’t—”
“I love your daughter!”
“Then what is the problem?”
“It’s your assumption that I will play along with whatever you have mapped out for us, your inability to include me in anything important in your life. All you want from me is sex. It’s the only reason it took me this long to figure it out.”
“Figure what out, Pia?”
“That you began retreating from me since I told you I loved you. I guess the guilt was too much for even you.”
“What guilt?”