“An hour. Maybe longer.”
“Is everything okay?” I asked.
He nodded. “In a way.”
I took another small step forward. “What does in a way mean?”
“In a way that things are okay because I’m alive,” he replied after a moment, and even though most of his features were cast in shadows, I felt the intensity of his gaze. “I can imagine why you’re not able to sleep after what you learned today.”
“My mind won’t shut down.”
“I know the feeling.”
I watched him. “Do you think of the Chosen often?”
“Always.” There was a long pause. “Are you sure you’re okay?”
He’d asked that once during a quiet supper we’d shared. He was concerned about how I was handling what I’d learned about the Chosen. And I…well, it was unusual for me to be on the receiving end of that. “I am.” I ran my foot along the smooth stone. “I may be prone to impulsivity as Sir Holland would say quite frequently, but I also have a rather practical mind.”
“You do?”
I shot him a dark look. “What I’m trying to say is that I deal with things. What I learned today? I will deal with it.”
He studied me from the shadows. “I know you will. That’s what you do. Deal with whatever is thrown your way.”
I lifted a shoulder.
He was quiet and then said, “Would you like to join me?”
A tripping sensation invaded my chest. “Sure.”
“You don’t sound too confident in that choice,” he said, and I heard the smile in his voice.
“No, I am confident in my choice. I’m just…surprised,” I admitted.
“Why?”
I shrugged once more as I got my legs moving, telling myself that this was a good surprise. Him wanting me to stay out here with him had to mean something. I sat beside him, staring ahead.
Ash was quiet for a couple of moments. “I wasn’t avoiding you today. I was at the Pillars.”
“I didn’t think you were.” I looked at him, tensing as I remembered something my mother had once taught me. Men don’t like to have to answer for their time not spent with you, she’d said. And considering what I’d done the day before, I should’ve remembered that piece of advice I would’ve otherwise ignored in another situation. “I mean, you don’t have to explain your whereabouts to me.”
His fingers moved restlessly in front of his bent knee. “I feel like I do after last night.”
Focusing on the tops of the trees beyond the wall, I resisted the urge to press my hand to my cheeks and see if they felt as hot as I thought they did.
“I feel like I also have to let you know that one of the reasons I can’t sleep is because I kept looking at the damn doors to your bedchambers.”
My gaze shot back to him.
“And then I lay there wondering why in the hell I placed your chambers beside mine. Sounded like a good idea,” he said, and my stomach rolled. “Now, I’m not so sure. Because I spent far too much time thinking that all I had to do was walk a couple of feet and that chamber wouldn’t be empty. You’d be there.”
The tripping sensation turned into a falling one. “And that is a bad thing?”
“Undecided.”
I laughed, looking away. “Well, I feel that I should let you know that I too was staring at those damn doors, and I’m only a few feet away and…”
“And what?” Shadows gathered in his voice.
“And I don’t mind engaging in bad ideas,” I told him.
Ash chuckled. “You wouldn’t, would you?”
I grinned as I tugged the edges of the throw up to my chin. “I am particularly talented at engaging in bad ideas.” I cleared my throat, searching for something to say. “I met Rhahar and Bele today.”
“I know.”
My brows lifted as I looked over my shoulder at him. “How?”
“I saw you briefly when I returned to check in with the guards. I was busy but still fully aware of where you were. Who you were with. When you left.”
“Well… That sounds creepy.”
“I also talked to Rhahar and Bele.” He shifted forward enough that the starlight caressed his face. There was an amused tilt to his lips.
His lips were so expressive. “I also learned something interesting from them today.”
“About the bets the gods of other Courts are taking?” Ash asked.
I sighed. “Yes.”
“They shouldn’t have told you that. Both Rhahar and Bele often speak before they think.”
“Well, since I am well familiar with that, I can’t hold it against them,” I said. “Where has Bele been? Aios reacted as if she had been gone for a long time.”
“She is a bit of a huntress. Of information. She has a knack for moving about unseen, so she is usually in other Courts, attempting to uncover information that may be useful.”
“Useful for what?”
“You have a lot of questions.”
“You have a lot of answers.” I eyed him. “Is she someone who helps get the Chosen out of Dalos?”