Oh, well, she thought cheerfully, Raul could afford the dry-cleaning bill.
* * *
Once back in Barcelona, the sun setting on the horizon, they stopped at a pizzeria for something to eat, wedging themselves on an outside table inches from the pavement.
One thing Charley had always appreciated about Raul was his lack of snobbery when it came to food. His tastes were refined towards everything else but he would happily wolf down anything put in front of him. When she’d suggested they eat here rather than somewhere fancy, he’d shrugged his shoulders and agreed.
Fancy food was something she’d had to get used to when they’d married, having been raised on a diet that consisted mostly of microwave meals or baked beans on toast. A chocolate bar or ice cream had been their usual form of dessert.
How simple everything had been back then. Her mum had been young and naïve but incredibly hardworking. She’d held down two jobs for as far back as Charley could remember but had always made sure she was home to have dinner with her only child. Half the time she was unaware her daughter had skived off school again and had spent the day watching music videos on the television.
Charley had never doubted her mum’s love for her.
It was her father’s love she’d always doubted, a thought she shoved firmly from her mind, feeling disloyal to even think it. Of course her dad loved her—he told her so every time he saw her.
She just wished she could have seen more of him but he had always been so busy, running his latest get-rich-quick scheme and being with her half-brothers. This had been completely understandable; her half-brothers had lived in the same town as him. A visit to his daughter every few months had been the most time he could spare. And he had visited her home on a whim once, when she’d been at school. He’d left a note for her saying he’d been there. If that didn’t prove he loved her and carried her in his thoughts, what did?
And if her days skiving off school, watching music videos, had been spent hovering on the sofa by the window that had overlooked their flat’s car park, and every time she’d seen a dark blue estate car pull into it her heart would accelerate with excitement that maybe he was paying her another unannounced visit...well, it was hardly his fault that he’d never made another unexpected trip, was it? Her dad hadn’t known she’d been sitting there in hope, waiting for him.
‘How did you get involved with the centre?’ Raul asked once their order had been taken.
‘I went there as a volunteer to entertain the children...’
‘Yes, but how? Did you see an advert?’
‘Kind of. I decided to do some voluntary work to pass the time while deciding what to do with my life. I’ve always liked children and keeping them entertained is about the only thing I’ve ever been good at.’
All those teenage years sitting alone in the flat in the hope her dad would eventually turn up instead of knuckling down at school had left her with nothing to show for over a decade of education. It was only after she’d left school and seen how severely limited her options were that she’d understood what she’d thrown away: her future. She’d never given the future any real thought; the present had been enough to cope with. Her mum had been so disappointed too, although she’d tried to cover it up with an understanding hug. That one hug had spurred Charley on more than any career advice she could have been given.
She might have no qualifications but she would make something of herself. She’d always loved kids, had danced along to enough music videos to have gained some decent rhythm, so being an entertainer at family resorts had seemed the logical thing to do.
But meeting Raul and his brilliant mind had only served to magnify her past mistakes and she’d been determined to rectify them, to make her mum’s sacrifices worthwhile, to make Raul proud and to make their future children proud. She’d clutched at business ideas that had looked good on paper but held no emotional appeal. She hadn’t thought it mattered. All that had mattered was proving herself a success.
All she’d proved was that she was a failure.
How could anyone respect her, let alone her husband and future children?
‘I went to the children’s hospital first to see if they needed or wanted any volunteers and through them I met one of the kids who went to the centre,’ she continued, forcing brightness into her voice. ‘I went along once to see if they had any need for me, fell in love with the place and ended up volunteering on a permanent basis.’
‘Could they not pay you?’
‘They could barely afford the staff they did have.’ A whimsical smile crossed her face. ‘Besides, I had the money to support myself.’