He raises a brow. “That’s a mild term, but yes.”
“I don’t want to tell you.” There, I said it. “I don’t want to talk about it with you, Jackson. Because I don’t trust that you’ll hear me and not freak out. Because the last time I tried to talk to you about something important I saw, you walked out on me. You left and tore me to pieces.”
“I was young,” he says and stands, pushing his hand through his hair. “Jesus, Daph, I was so young. And hurt. Grieving. Sad. And I wanted to be angry. You were the closest target.”
“Age has nothing to do with treating someone with respect.” I stand as well and cross my arms over my chest. “You wouldn’t listen to me. I told you what I saw because you needed to know. And it nearly killed me. I almost didn’t tell you.”
“For a long time, I wished you hadn’t,” he says and holds his hands out at his sides. “I didn’t want to know that my dad killed himself. I couldn’t deal with it. And, yes, I was horrible that day, but since we’re being honest here, I was horrible for a long time. Going into the Army and leaving was the best thing for me. Because I was an asshole. And so damn angry.”
“I can’t risk you leaving again.” I shrug when his eyes narrow. “We need you to help finish this thing with him, whether I like it or not. And trust me when I say, I don’t like it. I didn’t want you to be the sixth. I didn’t want us to need you.”
“I’m flattered.” His voice is dry as he crosses his arms over his chest.
“But you are the sixth, and we do need you. So, I’m not going to tell you anything that I think will send you running for the hills. Not until he’s gone, and we’re free to live our lives like not-so-normal people.”
That makes his lips twitch.
“I won’t leave.”
His voice is strong. Sure. Free from frustration now and completely calm. His eyes never waver, and he drops his arms from his chest.
“I won’t go, Daphne. Just tell me what you saw.”
I want to. Goddess, I want to.
“Hey.” He crosses to me and frames my face in his hands. The warmth that seeps into me is like a sweet welcome home. I don’t think I’ve felt warm since the day he walked out on me all those years ago. “You can tell me. I won’t turn my back on you again.”
I take a deep breath, let it out slowly, and with my eyes on his, I tell him what I saw when I touched the piano.
“It was a memory, like I said,” I add when I’m finished relaying the story. “And, Jack, it’s my fault.”
I feel the tears fill my eyes as he drops his hands from my face and takes a step back.
The retreat is a slice through my heart.
“It’s my fault that he killed himself,” I continue while I can still make the words come. “He felt so guilty, even though he didn’t cause her death. It was a horrible mistake. An awful accident. But I told him too much, and he just couldn’t handle it. And then, just a few weeks later, he took his own life. I can’t tell you what I wouldn’t give to be able to go back and do it differently. To shut my damn mouth and not tell him everything I saw that day. It destroyed him, Jack. And it’s my fault.”
And just like that, my worst fears come to life.
Jack turns his back on me, drops his head, and sighs.
Chapter Six
Jackson
For fuck’s sake, how much more will be piled onto me this week? I take a deep breath and blow it out. I don’t want Daph to see this grief and hurt.
She doesn’t deserve that.
“You’re going to go,” she whispers behind me, and I turn to find her looking absolutely defeated.
“No.” I step back to her and wrap my arms around her, pulling her against me as I rock back and forth, comforting us both. “No, I’m not leaving. I just needed a minute, that’s all.”
She clings to me in relief, and I pull back to wipe the tears from her gorgeous cheeks.
“You’ve been carrying a burden that isn’t yours,” I say gently as she sniffles. She shakes her head, but I continue. “Listen to me very carefully, Daphne. My father chose to end his life. He couldn’t carry the grief and guilt, and that’s on him. I feel awful for him, and I wish he’d gone to someone for help. Oliver. Me. Miss Sophia. But it’s not your fault that he took the information you gave him and used it as fuel for his actions. Hell, we don’t know for sure that that’s what happened.”