“I would,” I told her seriously but she only grinned wider.
“First, you don’t get to know. Second, I’m not drunk enough to spill by accident.” She knocked back her shot and poured another as she reached for the spicy chicken. “Thanks to all this food, I’ll never be.”
“Oh don’t you worry about that sweetheart, I’ve gotten many a woman drunk in my day.” It would tease all of my patience to get her drunk and not fuck her again, but I was determined to do just that.
Secrets, yes. Sex, no.
I had this.
Chapter 7
Mandy
I couldn’t believe it. I was having a good time with Savior. A man who could be pretty damn charming when he wasn’t waking up with a big bag of regret. I found myself laughing more than I had in far too long. It was probably the vodka. Okay it was mostly the vodka, but it was also him. In my mind, Savior was still the unreliable man who’d ditched me the minute he’d gotten stateside and couldn’t be bothered with the boring details of being a teenager. That wasn’t him any more than the card-counting delinquent was still me.
I let the vodka do its thing, let it relax my mind and my body until the awkward disappeared and all that was left were two people connected by their memories and grief of the same person.
“He would be so thrilled with all the businesses you guys have.” Ammo was proud of the Reckless Bastards and to see them thriving the way Savior described, I could admit a certain warmth blossomed in my chest.
He grinned in that way he had that made him look almost like a boy. No, not a boy but just a man who didn’t have ghosts, demons. Skeletons. His eyes were clear and his smile wide. “We have Ammo O.G. that we grow ourselves. It’s our biggest seller, especially ‘cause it’s some kick ass weed.”
Now that would have tickled my brother like crazy. “I wish he could’ve seen that.”
I could see Ammo strutting around in what passed for heaven for guys like him, bragging about being a celebrity. It’d been a long time since I could think of my brother without sadness. Pouring the last of the vodka in our glasses, I held it up.
“To the best brother around. May he be shocking angels and heathens alike, wherever he is.”
“Damn straight,” Savior said and knocked the vodka back with a grimace. “It’s good to remember. Sometimes I forget it all. It’s easier.”
I sighed, nodding. “Most of the time I wish I could. I tried forgetting but now that it’s only me, I have to remember. If I ever have a family, they’ll want to know about how well my mom sang or how my dad did the best card tricks. They won’t know the dirty jokes that Ammo horrified me with when I was too young to hear them. So, I remember.”
For an uncertain future I wasn’t sure I even wanted.
“Are you drunk enough to spill your secrets yet?”
Just the sound of his voice, so deep and rumbly, made me smile. But a moment later as his question sank in, I felt the smile fade.
“No offense, but I’ll never be drunk enough for that.” It wasn’t a big secret, but it was mine and he’d given up the right to ask.
“Come on, how bad could it be? Prostitution?”
I laughed bitterly. “Yeah, right. If I’d done that we might have actually crossed paths back then.” It was no secret that the Reckless Bastards had been in on the ass business well before it became fashionable. With it now legalish, I was sure they made bank.
“That’s a fucking relief.” He smacked the sofa as his body sank deeper into it. “If it’s not that, just tell me.” He was insistent and the more he drank the more his guilt showed. Now that he knew I hadn’t been out there putting a price tag on my body, his guilt seemed to lessen, but not by much.
Good. He should feel guilty. I didn’t want him carrying some burden, but he and all the Reckless Bastards had let me down.
“Look Savior, I don’t need you to feel guilty for not keeping your promise to Ammo. I’m sure he wouldn’t either because everything turned out fine. Just drop it.”
“I really am sorry. There’s no excuse and I’m grateful I’ll never get the ass kicking I deserve from Ammo.”
“Don’t think you’re going to heaven?”
He laughed. “Sweetheart if I make it up there he can kick my ass daily.”
“At any rate, I don’t need your guilt so get over yourself.”
“Then why don’t you want anything to do with us?”