It feels…amazing. Even my borrowed memories don't have anything like this. I close my eyes and just enjoy.
"Guards," Novis says warily.
"It's okay," Bee tells him. "Give him a moment."
I don't open my eyes or move. Even if they stab me with a dozen shock-sticks, I want to appreciate this sensation for as long as I can. It's rare that I have pleasures in my life. My mind is filled with all bad things and…I want more of this sort of thing.
"Why is he stopping, female?"
"He's enjoying the rain," Bee says reasonably. "Give him a moment." She squeezes my hand again, letting me know that everything is fine. "He has a name, First Rank. You can always ask him."
The male makes a disgruntled sound. Finally, he speaks. "Move it along, Crulden. You can enjoy the rain at your new home."
Bee sneezes.
It's that tiny sneeze that gets me moving. I keep forgetting that humans are fragile, and for all that Bee can be formidable when she's crossed, she still needs protecting. This rain is probably cold and unpleasant to her. So I open my eyes, shake the droplets off my mane, and nod at the guardsmen. As we get in the air-sled, the constant patter of rain on the windows is familiar, and I watch the countryside move quickly underneath us as we travel. Bee and I are in the back seat of the sled, with the two guardsmen flying the machine. I'm not sad to leave First Rank Novis behind.
Bee sneezes again and then sniffles. When I look over at her, she gives me a watery smile, the tip of her nose flushed a deeper shade than the rest of her skin. "Allergies. There's something in the soil here that bothers me. It's more noticeable when it rains, but I'll be fine."
She told me about her allergies before, once, when she was making idle talk, explaining to me why she wanted to be a “social worker” for the humans instead of farming. "This is why you do not have land."
"Right. I'd have to farm, and since I can't, I do what I can." She shrugs, her hand damp in mine. "I don't really mind most times, though it'd be nice to have a place to call my own. I can't be selfish about it, though, especially not with new humans coming in all the time."
I think about this, about how unselfish she is, how giving. She gets no reward for helping me—other than to take a job that will allow her to help other humans. Her spirit is good and pure, and she deserves better than to be touched by a monster like me. But since I am a monster, I am going to take as much of her as I can. Now that my fascination with rain is waning slightly, I can focus on thoughts of Bee.
We're going to be alone together for the first time.
I'm going to claim that kiss she promised.
14
BEE
After all the rolling plains and endless, flat-looking farms, I'm surprised to see that we're driven up to a small, double-domed house on the edge of a tall cliff. The guards park the sled in front and then grab the trunk of supplies from the back and proceed to carry it away from the house. At my confused look, one explains, "This is where we're staying. You're farther down."
"Oh. Of course." I smile brightly at them. "Lead the way."
It's still raining, and my clothes are soaked. I'm doing my best not to sneeze again, but I can feel my sinuses filling up, my nose itching and my eyes watering. Victor has been quiet for a while now, and I hope this isn't too overwhelming for him. For a brief, wild moment I wonder if I'm doing the right thing. Am I putting my life in danger? No one else in the universe trusts Victor, who's been cloned from one of the nastiest monsters to ever grace an arena. I've heard enough about Crulden the Ruiner in the last few weeks to last a lifetime.
I glance over at my companion. One hand is still in mine, but the other is upturned to the sky, catching rain. He stares at the water on his hand with fascination, and my heart squeezes at that small joy. Everyone else in the universe is wrong about him, I decide. He just wants to be free to live his life, like anyone else that's been fucked over by the greedy machinations of the galaxy. I'm going to give him that chance.
The guards carry the crate along a winding path close to the edge of the cliffs. If I look down over the edge, I see a fast-flowing river, full of rocks and dangerous, white-foamed rapids. It looks awfully high, but surely they wouldn't send us out here just to drown, so I have to assume it's fine.