Your life has been one of captivity by wrongdoings of so many others. It is time for you to see the good in the world, instead of being immersed in the bad.
I’m writing this, not only to tell you what I’ve done, but to ask that you forgive me. I didn’t come to Detroit looking for a muse. I didn’t come here to write Annie and Jonathon’s story. I didn’t come here with the intention of finding this beautiful man and falling so hard for him.
I did, though, and Angelo, it’s on me.
I can’t leave here and not make things clear to you that you helped me more than you hurt me. Before you came into my life, I was drowning in existing. Day in and day out, I did what I had to do, and nothing more. I came to Detroit to show the world what once was, but, you see, I was also holding on to my own what once was.
That’s not living. No, that is a drowning of another kind.
I can’t go back and change what happened to Gregory, as much as I can’t go back and change Maria’s path for you, though I wish I could for you, for her, and for what you both lost.
It pains me to think of the hurt I’ve caused you. I came into your life and opened wounds you probably wished I hadn’t. I can only hope in this pain you find healing, Angelo.
Thank you for showing me so much. I will not walk the streets oblivious to what’s around me anymore, both so I don’t miss out and so I’m not in danger. Thank you for giving me a reason to believe in love again. Thank you for being the strong man you are, and for showing me the will in which you contain yourself for everyone else.
One day, Angelo, I know we will look back on this time together and it won’t hurt. One day, we will know that together we have grown from each other. I have grown from you. I have opened myself to living again, breathing again, because of you.
If you ever need anything, Angelo, I will always be here for you. I am eternally grateful for having you in my life and knowing the man underneath it all.
With love and adoration,
Tatum Longley
Tears fill my eyes, but I refuse to let them fall. I believe in what I wrote. We will both grow from this loss. We will both be stronger and better for having known each other. I don’t know if I can get him pardoned or a shortened sentence on his parole, but it is my every wish that he sees the world.
Michelangelo Mazzini is not a cold-hearted beast out for murder and mayhem. No, he is a loving and loyal brother whose only mistake was not getting through to his sister before it was too late. That’s really on her, though, not him. My hope is that, someday, he can see that for himself.
Until then, I will leave this letter, and I will leave Detroit behind, knowing that my heart may be pained, but it is full once again.
Angelo gave me this, and it’s the greatest gift I have ever been given.
Chapter Twenty - Four
Two days
Two days before she leaves.
Tatum Longley, Legs, the first woman I fucked, the first person in years I let in and did it selfishly, because it felt so fucking good to be wanted, sought after, fucked, touched, and forgiven when I didn’t even ask for it.
I knew she would go back to New York, taking with her a piece of my heart. A heart that was black for many years... until her.
The thing about hearts is that it wants what it wants, and mine wants her.
That can’t happen.
The other thing about the heart is, no matter how bad you wish it would stop beating, it doesn’t.
I should have never agreed to let her use me.
I should have fucking known better.
I look down at the letter crumpled in my hand, the one that has now been read, crumpled, thrown in the trash, and picked back out of it because I need to read it again, and again, and again.
I want to be pissed at her. I am pissed at her. She has no business sharing my shit with anyone, and she has no business falling for me.
I stand up and toss the letter back in the garbage before throwing on a hoodie and getting ready to go do what I have done all fucking week—sneak around and stand outside her hotel to make sure she doesn’t get herself in trouble. Not like I have anything else going on, and certainly not like I’m going to sleep.
I wasn’t out of pills, but I did flush them. I didn’t want Buck to get the wrong idea, or pick up on my bad habit.