I’d had a final session with Phoebe in the morning, as an inpatient anyway, followed by some acupuncture, which had grown on me. I didn’t know if I believed the needles jabbing into my ankle, wrist, and stomach, amongst other places, connected with my ‘chi’ or unblocked any ‘channels of energy’, but I certainly entered a state of bliss lying on that table. I suspected, in all honesty, it had less to do with the needles and more to do with the candles, mood lighting, and classical music. Either way, it wouldn’t be my last session. It didn’t matter why it made me feel better, it did, and I liked it.
I’d decided to wait outside for Drew. Every part of Woodhall Lodge was secure, far from street and public access. I perched on a wall guarding a raised flowerbed, empty now given the time of year. My suitcase stood by my feet, the last month packed haphazardly inside. Pebbles of nerves played hopscotch in my belly while I waited. The world I’d literally travelled all around felt decidedly massive and intimidating. I’d become strangely accustomed to being locked inside the private safety bubble behind me with no real knowledge of what was happening beyond. The iron gates in the distance had an eerie familiarity about them. I’d be going through them soon, just like I went through the stage doors of Next Up for the final time as a winner, and a new life would begin. A fresh start.
This time, though, I’d be taking Helen with me…every step of the way.
Tyres crunching gravel caught my attention. That’s when I saw a car idling on the other side of the gates. I couldn’t make out the driver until it had been allowed through, driven closer. It was Drew.
“Rolls-Royce,” I commented as he climbed out. Gold. Ostentatious. Extremely Drew. I hadn’t seen it before. “Yours?”
Drew nodded, nothing but lust in his eyes for his new toy. “Isn’t she a beauty? Picked her up yesterday.”
I’d never developed the obsession with cars a lot of folk in the industry had, including Drew. He must’ve owned fifteen, twenty. I owned two; one in LA, one here. I couldn’t drive more than one at once, so owning multiple seemed pointless. Drew often joked that wealth was wasted on me. He was probably right. “It’s…nice,” I agreed. “Shiny.”
“Shi…” His eyes darted between the car and me. “Shiny?” he repeated, shaking his head. “She’s a goddamn work of art!”
I stood from the wall, gathered my case. “It’s good to see you, Drew,” I said, opening the back door of his ‘work of art’ and placing my luggage on the seat.
Drew was by my side now, hands stuffed in his pockets. “Yeah,” he said, word cracking, nostrils flaring. He looked upset.
I knew why, so I threw my arms around him, one hand tight on his back, the other holding his head in place while I kissed him hard and firm on the cheek. “Don’t ever fucking avoid me again. I love you, Drew. You know that, right?”
His arms, out of his pockets, flew around my waist, up my back. He held me so tight it became a little difficult to breathe. “You’re a fucking prick,” he said, the words muffled against my neck. He was crying. “I thought you were gone. I thought you were…”
“I’m not. All right?” I cried along with him. I hadn’t expected our reunion to be this emotional. I’d envisaged some awkwardness followed by an insult or two and then we’d hug it out and all would be forgotten. Clearly, I hadn’t thought to remember how much we loved each other. “I’m sorry, Drew. I’m sorry for all of it.”
His head nodded against mine. He sniffed his tears, coughed to clear his throat, and pulled away. His swollen eyes broke my heart just like I’d broken his. “Don’t be sorry just…don’t do it again, yeah? If you’re feeling sad smoke some mushrooms or fuck a pair of twins like a normal person.”
I laughed, despite the tears on his cheeks. “I, uh, think I’ll pass on those, but thanks for the advice.”
“And…I’m sorry too, you know, for the whole…” He straightened a finger, swished it through the air, signalling between our lips…I think.
“I know. And that wasn’t why I did it. I need you to know that. You’re not that bad a kisser.” I’d gone back for more for almost a year at one point after all, before realising I could never be what Drew needed, and vice versa.
“Pfft.” He waved off the claim, started walking to the driver’s side. “Baby, I’m the best there is. We both know it.”
And just like that, everything really was all right with the world. Well, with the people who mattered at least. The rest of the globe had varying opinions on my current situation, apparently. Opinions on a situation they knew fuck all about. During the ride home, Drew revealed what had gone down in the press in my ‘absence’. Photos of me being loaded into the ambulance had appeared on countless gossip sites and social media channels within minutes. It didn’t take long for stories of my ‘years of drug and alcohol abuse’ to follow.