I shake my head. My dad always says the right thing. I walk over to him and give him a kiss on the cheek. “I love you, Dad.”
He pats me on the shoulder and pulls me in for a hug. “I love you too, honey.”
I walk away, and I can’t help wondering if my dad would still want him to call me if he knew who he is, especially considering the fact he’s older than me. Oh well, I’ll cross that bridge when I get to it.
3
Carter
I should have called her. I could have easily had gotten her phone number from someone in town. It seems anyone I talk to tells me they know her and then instantly warns me to stay away from her. She’s like the town’s sweetheart, it seems. I only saw her for a few minutes and yeah, she looks innocent, but these days, there’s really no such thing. And yes, I may be older than her and yeah, I should probably forget about her, but no matter how hard I try, I can’t.
So after a week of trying to make myself forget about her, of trying to convince myself that I’m no good for her, I find myself here in town bright and early on Sunday morning. I run my sweaty palms down the front of my dark denim jeans. I have on my black button-down shirt and my best hat.
Even knowing my boots are clean, I still wipe them on the mat as I walk into the church. Pastor Bradshaw is standing in the doorway, shaking hands and saying hello as people walk in. I’m the last one in line, and the pastor doesn’t even try to hide his surprise when he sees me. “Carter, well I wouldn’t believe it if I didn’t see it myself. You came.”
I take my hat off and hold it in one hand as I nod and wrap my other hand around his in a firm handshake. “Yeah, well, you’ve invited me enough. I thought I’d come and check it out.”
He nods, smiling from ear to ear. “Well, you’re always welcome here. I’ve been meaning to come out and see you. I wanted to personally thank you for donating your time last month out at the Jamison’s ranch. When Mr. Jamison passed, the missus didn’t know how she was going to make it. She said you got everything running smoothly for her in less than a week. She said you trained the cowboys, set her up on automatic orders at the co-op.... well, son, you really helped her out. You’re a good man, Carter Grant, and this community is lucky to have you in it.”
I can feel the heat creeping up my cheeks. The way he’s going on and on about me, I almost feel guilty. If he knew the real reason that I’m here in his church, he probably wouldn’t be as welcoming. “Thank you, sir.”
He releases my hand and claps his hands together excitedly. “Well, I better get up front and get things started. I’ll talk to you after?” He phrases it like a question, so I nod my head at him. It’s not hard to agree to it; I’ve already decided that I’m not leaving here until I get to talk to Janie again. A part of me is curious if my initial reaction is still going to hold true today. I mean, maybe it was just a weak moment or something. If it was just a blip in time, I may not feel anything when I see her today.
I go toward the front of the church and sit in the fourth row. I remember her saying that she played the piano, so I sit on the left side where I have a direct sight of the grand piano. Pastor Bradshaw starts and does a welcome speech. I sit here with my hat in my lap and try not to fidget. I don’t know why I’m so on edge. It’s not like I haven’t been to church before. Anytime they’ve had cowboy church out at the ranch or at the rodeos I’m at on Sundays, I always attend. Of course, those are definitely more laid-back than this. But it doesn’t bother me that I’m in my new tight denim, or the shirt that’s buttoned up to my neck. No, I’m anxious because I’m about to see Janie. There’s someone else at the piano and the song service continues as people take their seats.
Pastor Bradshaw starts talking, welcoming everyone. I tell myself to pay attention, but I find myself looking around the congregation, hoping for just a glance of Janie.
His sermon continues as he talks about forgiving old hurts and not holding grudges and following your heart. I listen, but the whole time, I’m searching for her.
“And now, well, I’m sure you already know that my Janie is back from college. She took a few college classes this summer and was able to graduate early.” He turns to the side and looks at a column along the wall. “Janie, will you please come say hello and play for us.”