I smile and sit up, pressing my lips to his. Always so bossy.
Gabriel puts himself back together in record time, although he does actually look a little flushed, which pleases me immensely.
I, of course, am a mess as I try to smooth out my skirt and button my blouse.
“I want to see you tonight,” he states unexpectedly.
“Sure thing, sexy.” I zip up my black blazer, effectively hiding the evidence of our vicious romp.
“Not like that.” He laughs. “Well actually, maybe. But first I want to take you to dinner.”
“Really?” I smile, unable to hide the surprise in my voice.
“Yes, really.”
“Sounds like you’ve got yourself a date. Can I pick where we go?”
I try to play it off casually, but I know if he goes to one of his usual restaurants, there will likely be paparazzi lurking nearby. And I need to stay away from all of that.
“Sure,” he says. “I’ll pick you up at six.”
I blow him a kiss and sashay out the door. As I walk down the hallway, I realize he got his wish. I feel his come dripping down my leg the entire way home.
Chapter Seven
Victoria
When I arrive back at my apartment, Alanna is sitting on the couch looking a little too satisfied. She hasn’t even bothered to brush her just-fucked hair. Then again, neither have I, so who am I to talk?
I plop down on the couch beside her. “So, I’m guessing that would be Nathan.”
“You’d be right.” She winks.
“Things are getting pretty hot and heavy for you two, huh?”
It isn’t Alanna’s usual MO to get so wrapped up with a guy. She usually ditches them after a couple dates, always careful to protect herself from getting too attached.
“You could say that.” She smiles softly. “He is just so… God, Victoria, he is so amazing.”
I want to be happy for us because in reality I feel the same. But at the same time I can’t help the nagging voice of reason in the back of my head. What will happen when we have to leave? The inevitable heartbreak that will follow?
It hits me then, the painful realization. I’ve been so busy having fun with Gabriel, I haven’t even thought about saying goodbye yet. We’ve already been in New York for nearly two months. If we’re to stick to our schedule, that means we’ll have to leave a month from now. I can’t even bear the thought of saying goodbye when things are finally going so well.
“I don’t know what to say,” I begin hesitantly. “This is just so… unexpected. I’m happy for you, Alanna, really I am. And I’m the last person who wants to rain on your parade but have you thought about what’s going to happen when we leave?”
Her bright smile dims quickly, and I hate that I’m doing this to her. Why can’t I just let her have it, this happiness, even for five minutes?
“I don’t know, Toto. I’m happy right now, and I just want to see where it takes me. I don’t want to think about saying goodbye right now. I’ll deal with that when the time comes.”
I try to put on my best brave smile. Because to me it sounds like she’s actually thinking about staying. And I feel empty inside even thinking about it. Would she actually stay behind, without me?
“What about you and Gabriel?” she asks.
I sigh, deciding that while we’re being honest, I may as well put myself out there.
“He’s amazing. I thought he was such an asshole when I first met him, but I was wrong, Alanna. He can be so gentle and sweet, and I like that. But I like it when he’s rough too. I guess I like everything about him, really. But our arrangement was just for fun, nothing permanent….” My voice cracks as I speak. “I don’t know. We can’t be anything permanent anyway, because of me and my stupid life.” I sink into the couch beside her, suddenly feeling sorry for myself.
“I know that’s what he said at first…” Alanna smiles. “But you can tell he’s crazy about you. There’s no denying that.”
I want him to be crazy about me because I’m crazy about him.
“Have you ever…” Alanna hesitates for a moment, picking at an imaginary piece of lint on her shirt. “I don’t know, have you ever thought about staying?”