“Honk!” came from a few feet below him.
The goose had to weigh close to thirty pounds. It had milky white feathers and a bright yellow bill with small dark patches on the side, making it appear as if it were smiling. It attacked Jax’s frayed jeans cuff, its hard bill whacking against his ankle bone.
Jax jumped away from the snarly bird, but that only seemed to aggravate it. The bird spread its wings and used its impressive six-foot wingspan to take several whacks at Jax’s thigh. Covering the family jewels, he tried to ward off the goose’s blows.
Of course, a goose worshiped by a horde of zombies would act like a bird possessed and have a right hook that hurt worse than ramming into the coffee table at full speed.
“That’s it. You better watch out or I’ll decide to have you for Christmas dinner.”
The goose eyed him with her shifty little black eyes and honked before trying to steamroll Jax back. This time, he stood his ground, crouched at the last second and wrapped his arms around the fat bird, pinning its wings to its body. In addition to golden eggs, the goose had plenty of fight in it as well. It honked in protest, pecked him with its bill and tried to squirm free but to no avail. Jax had it and he sure as shooting wasn’t letting it wiggle away now.
“Here, let me help.” Veronica sidled close, keeping eye contact with the pissed-off beast. “Hey there, big darling, did Jax here tick you off? I know just what that’s like. Shhh, calm down now.”
Miraculously, the goose quieted.
“Now I’m going to touch your head,” she continued in a soft, sing-song rhythm. “There we go. Now, let’s just tuck that pretty beak of yours under one of your wings and I’ll make Jax promise to be nice to you.”
The goose relaxed in his arms and settled in.
“Promise her, Jax.”
“What are you talking about? I’m not talking to a stupid goose.”
The bird in question began to flail about again.
“Promise. Her.”
“Of all the–” The do-it-now look in her eyes stopped him cold. “Fine. I promise to be nice to Ms. Christmas Goose.”
The stubborn bird honked at him from underneath its downy wing.
“Now what?” Jax asked.
“Oh, you’ll have to carry her down, my boy,” Antoine replied.
The old man had to have lost it. How in the world was he supposed to climb down who knows how many miles of beanstalk with a wiggly goose in his arms?
“It’s a good thing I brought my elevator ring.” Antoine pulled the silver ring off his pinky finger. “If you’ll both just come over here.”
He pushed a button the size of a jalapeno seed on the ring’s side and aimed the resulting beam of blue light at the vine. A holographic elevator hovered over the opening in the cloud ground.
“Well, come on, we shouldn’t dally.” Antoine strode into the mystical elevator.
“You had this all along and yet we still climbed all the way up? Twice?” Veronica marched into the elevator behind Jax and the doors slid shut.
“Unfortunately, it only goes down and I was so distracted by the zombies yesterday, I completely forgot about using it.” Antoine pushed the G button and they floated downward.
It took only a few minutes to reach the ground by their tents inside the stone circle. However, the doors didn’t open and the magic kept them inside the holographic walls.
“Oh bother. Jax, can you hit the open door button?” Antoine turned to Veronica. “There’s always something that goes wrong with these Bavarian relics.”
Juggling the goose, Jax awkwardly punched the button. Just as the doors opened, the goose went into wild animal mode, thrashing in his arms until it managed to break free. It sprinted out of the elevator, madly flapping its wings, and disappeared into the woods.
Chapter 8
Veronica leapt for the goose and ended up with an armful of air and a mouthful of grass and dirt for her efforts. Jax might have the right of it. That bird just might be the tastiest Christmas dinner ever.
An hour later, she and Jax were still tracking the webbed-footed miscreant through the woods. Antoine had stayed at camp in case the goose waddled its way back there. It hadn’t. Instead, the goose had stayed within eyeshot but just out of arm’s reach in the woods, its tail feathers wagging back and forth.