I held up my hands. “No! Let’s not talk about what a great lover my father is. Please.”
With a shrug, she washed out the container that held my leftovers from last night. “I’m just saying, there is a reason I had three sons. Your father’s sperm was young and strong.”
“Ugh! La la la la la.”
There I stood, almost thirty-one years old with my fingers in my ears trying not to hear my mother talk about my father’s sperm while singing out a tune.
Hitting my chest, my mother frowned. “Stop that. I worry about you. Now, what time will you be over for dinner tonight? It’s your day off, right?”
“Um, I . . . ahh . . . well . . . I . . . um.”
“Nicholaus, what are you hiding from me?” She gasped. “A girl? Are you spending the day with a girl?”
I laughed. “No. Cole and I are going hiking.”
She frowned for a moment and looked deep into my eyes before her smile returned. “Bring him, I’ll make sure there is a good Greek girl there for you both.”
“No, Mama, we can’t. We’re planning on camping out all night.”
The lies! The lies were flowing from my mouth. I made a mental note to text Cole. I didn’t trust my mother.
Her eyes searched my face, looking for any sign I was going to be with anyone other than Cole.
With a pat on my chest, she said, “You be careful. There are wild animals up there, Nicholaus. You two boys would give them a lot to chew on.”
She squeezed my arms as she lifted on her toes and kissed my cheek. “Se agapò.”
Kissing her on the forehead, I replied, “I love you too, Mama.”
“Bring that food! You can heat it up.”
“Yes, ma’am.”
One quick look at the clock told me I was going to be late picking up Gabi. “Cole is waiting on me, Mama. I need to get ready to go.”
Taking her hands, she grabbed onto my face and stared into my eyes. She smiled and said, “I think you’re going to find love soon, o gios mou.”
I forced a smile. I had a feeling I’d already found something close to it and my mother was not going to be happy about it.
“HOW DID YOU do it?”
“Well hello to you too, Nic. I’m fine. Kilyn’s fine and Kira misses her uncle and would like to see you before she turns ten.”
I rolled my eyes. My little brother Thano could be a serious pain in the ass.
“Hello, Thano. I miss Kira too, I’ll plan to come over soon and speaking of your wife, Mom thinks Kilyn’s pregnant.”
Silence.
Laughing, I rubbed the back of my neck. “I’ll take your silence as a yes, she is.”
“How in the hell does she do that? Kilyn will freak out if Mom says anything to anyone.”
“Well, she already said something to me, you can only imagine who else she voiced her thoughts to.”
“Son-of-a-bitch.”
“The reason I was calling, is to ask you how you dealt with telling mom about Kilyn?”
“Why? Are you dating someone?” He said it with a fake laugh.
I didn’t say anything.
“Holy shit. Who is she?”
“We’re . . . hanging out, that’s all. Her name is Gabi.”
“Kilyn! Kilyn!”
“What are you screaming about?” I asked as I grabbed my keys and headed out the door.
Thano laughed then called out, “He’s dating someone!”
“Who’s dating someone?” Kilyn asked in the background.
“Nic’s spending the day with a girl and he’s hiding it from mom.”
I sighed. There was a lot of noise and all I could hear was Kilyn demanding the phone.
“Nic! Yeah, hi . . . it’s Kilyn. For the love of all things that are good in this world, please tell me you’re dating someone. Please!”
I couldn’t help but laugh. Poor Kilyn would finally get a reprieve from my mother if I had a girlfriend. Especially if she wasn’t Greek.
“It’s only a second date. And she’s Italian. Very Italian. Like both her parents were from Italy.”
Silence.
It sounded like the phone dropped to the ground.
“What did you say to my wife, you bastard? She’s crying.”
Laughing, I replied, “I told her I was going on a second date with a girl who was Italian.”
“Dude, don’t fuck around with me. This is not the time. Are you serious right now? I mean, the whole you going on more than one date is freaking awesome, but she’s not Greek? Don’t do me that way if you’re fucking around.”
Shit. This should be a warning sign for me.
“For real, it’s only a second date though. Do you really think Mom will freak if she finds out?”
“A second date for you is huge. And yes. She’s going to freak the hell out. I need to go. Kilyn and I have some celebrating to do!”
The line went dead. Pulling the phone back, I looked at it before tossing it on the passenger seat.