Day One
10:10 p.m.
“This is your room,” the nurse said to me as I put my bag on the bed nearest the window. If it weren’t for the double-sided window for the doctors to look in, I could almost fool myself into believing this was some luxury hotel. The walls were a neutral beige color, and random paintings of flowers were hung on the walls. There were even magazine and books by the bed. Nothing had changed in the last six years. I wasn’t sure if it was comforting or maddening.
“I’ll give you a moment, and then you’ll have to sign out,” she said, closing the door behind me. I sat on the bed and turned my back to him.
He leaned against the wall opposite me, still in his suit, though he was missing his tie and jacket. His black hair lay messily on his forehead, his green eyes tired.
“I’m sorry,” I said to him.
He crossed his arms, tilting his head in confusion. “For what?”
“This.” I lifted my hands. “I’m sorry that this is me. You are an amazing guy and I really like you. But this is the part where you walk away. You got me this far. Thank you. But—”
“Glad to see even after all this you’re still you.”
“What?”
He smiled. “You’re still you, Felicity. Still trying to run from me.”
“I’m not running. I’m giving you a way out.”
“Shouldn’t I ask first before you offer anything?”
“Theo.” Sighing, I brushed my hair back. “I’m not—”
“I make my own choices. If I wanted to leave, I could have the moment you ran away from the gala. I didn’t have to come to you. I did because this thing—you needing help—isn’t who you are. The Felicity I know snores, may have an addiction to wine, is the most hardheaded women I’ve ever met in my life, and is feisty and unbelievably beautiful. When I’m with her, I’m the happiest I can be and laugh at the dumbest things. I go from being this cold asshole of a person to a walking, talking cliché. I just keep thinking those were just the first few weeks I knew her. Imagine where I’ll be with her at the end of the year? The only thing stopping us from getting there is this one thing.”
Wiping my eyes, I nodded. “Well, it’s a pretty big thing, something you shouldn’t have to deal with—”
“Felicity.” He walked up to the edge of my bed and leaned in close. “When I said you’re mine, I meant it. Remember? I say what I mean. I chose scars and all. If it were me, if I were the one who had to be here, would you walk away?”
“No.” I didn’t have to think about it. I wouldn’t just leave him. I could accept him being the one with flaws, he was perfect as he was, and he wouldn’t have been holding me back. But I felt like I was this leech on his life.
“Do me a favor and just trust, and promise me you won’t run anymore. Not from this treatment and not from me.”
“I promise.”
He held my hands, and I knew then he was the only person alive who could break my heart, because I was completely in his keeping, and it scared the hell out of me.
“Mr. Darcy.” The nurse came back in. “We need you to leave now.”
Theo kissed my forehead then my hands before letting go. “I’ll see you in twenty-one days. In the meantime, I'll take a page from Nicholas Sparks, and I’ll write to you.”
“I’ll write back.”
He gave me one last look before leaving. I waited, not moving, for God only knows how long before I fell back onto the bed, tears spilling from my eyes.
Sometimes it felt like the only thing holding me together was my skin.
Day Five
9:17 a.m.
“Open for me,” the nurse said to me, and I opened my mouth wider, lifting my tongue for her to check. “Thank you. How are you feeling, Ms. Ford—”
“Harper, my last name is Harper,” I replied, reaching for my notebook again and curling up into a ball on couch. She frowned, glancing down at her chart.