This didn’t disgust me. It excited me. I was excited by this.
I was the moth this time, to her flame. I couldn’t help it. From the new look in her eyes, I could see something had switched for her, too.
Isn’t the very definition of being a Callahan about doing whatever the fuck you want when you want without a goddamn care? Monk’s words came to mind.
Yeah, it might just be.
“Can you go, so I can get dressed now?” she asked me.
I nodded, moving to her door. “But if I were you, I would be mindful of how you dress from now on.”
“What does that mean?”
“It means you let out the monster, Helen. Which means your clothes will end up on the floor at some point. Don’t make it harder on either of us.” I unlocked the door, and not wanting to tempt myself further, I walked out and closed the door gently behind me. I made it down the hall to my room as if nothing had happened.
It was only when I got through my doors and they shut behind me that I exhaled the breath I was holding.
“I’m going to bloody hell,” I muttered, pulling my tie off my neck. My skin was on fire, my clothes smelled like her…like roses.
In less than a second, she’d gone from my cousin to…to a woman. My woman. And the things I did to the women of my past…I was excited to do to her, and so much more.
Hell? I’m going to be Satan’s footstool. “Mother fuck.” Looking down at my cock, I shook my head.
This was dangerous.
This was terrible.
This was apparently exactly what I wanted.
HELEN
The moment he left, I calmly walked over to my bed and just threw myself on it. I am a strong, confident, intelligent, sexy, cute, and beautiful woman…and yet every time I was near him, I lost myself. I lost my edge. I was just…weak. It wasn’t my fault! Who could withstand him? He was always shifting the ground under my feet the moment I thought I could stand on my own.
When I told myself, I’d love him in secret and pull myself away.
He came and found me and drew me back in.
When I confessed.
He ran.
When I decided to give up on him.
He comes back and kisses me.
“He never plays fair,” I whispered to myself, reaching up to touch my lips.
We kissed.
For the second time.
No. The third time.
He kissed me.
I froze.
Then I kissed him back. Well, that makes it two and a half? It didn’t matter! What mattered was…I knew he was going to hurt me. I had no idea what was going through his mind. If he was just doing this out of pity, or lust, or both. But he didn’t love me…at least not the way I wanted him to.