I sat up in the water, my eyes now wide open. I dared not turn back, praying to God I was hallucinating—
“You know, the normal reaction would be to turn around and scream,” he spoke again, reminding me again that praying was useless in this house. Turning around immediately, I opened my mouth to yell, but again he spoke up. “You kissed me yesterday.”
I sat there, in a tub of rose-scented water, naked as the day I was born. Staring at Wyatt, who stood in my bathroom doorway in his black three-piece suit, his face cleanly shaven, jaw strong, not a single strand of his dark brown hair out of place. His brown-green eyes staring intently down at me…too intently. Everything about him was domineering, and I didn’t know what to do or say…I felt powerless.
No. “Wyatt—”
“I’m going to advise you to stop lying to me now, Helen. I’ve had a very long day, and I really don’t want to play games.”
“Wyatt, get out! What are you—”
“You. Kissed. Me. Last. Night,” he stated, getting closer and closer with each word. I stared back, moving to the edge of the small distance between us. But not toward him, always to the other side of my tub, crossing my arms over my chest.
“Wyatt, I really don’t know what you’re talking about right now, but you’re—”
“You deleted the video feed from your apartment last night. But guess what you forgot to do?” He asked, sitting on the edge of my tub. “You forgot to delete the record that you’d deleted the file from Cain. There would only be two reasons you’d delete the files from not only that night but also the morning after…one, if you remembered what you did. Or two, you honestly were too drunk to remember but saw the feed to try and see for yourself, then realized what you did and deleted it. Either way, Helen, you kissed me, and now you’ve been trying to lie to my face all goddamn day. Making me feel like I’m the insane one.”
SHIT! FUCKING SHIT!
I hadn’t forgotten. I was hoping to do it when everyone was asleep and no one could enter Cain! I hadn’t thought he’d have time to go there with all the other shit on his plate. Fucking shit!
He reached in to put his hand into the water and lightly touched the rose petals that swam under his fingers.
“So what are we going to do, Helen?”
I didn’t want to answer. I didn’t want to do any of this right now. So like the child I was, I sank down into the water. Underneath the water, I felt like I could hear the humming of the sea, and it made me feel like I was far away. I wanted to stay here. Pretend I wasn’t about to lose my best friend. About to see everything crumble. I wanted to pretend I was strong and not weak...not hurt. Finally, when my lungs started to burn, I rose up back up. Water dripping down my face as I inhaled deeply.
“Drowning ourselves only works for Dona,” he said, still not moving.
“Go away,” I whispered to him. “Let’s pretend none of this happened. I was drunk. Said things I shouldn’t have. So let’s just—”
“You can’t pretend after you drop a nuclear bomb, Helen,” he whispered, looking away and exhaling. “You and I have always told each other the truth. Even when we didn’t want to hear it. So tell me the truth.”
“I don’t want to,” I whispered back, no longer caring he was there. I didn’t want to feel trapped anymore. Standing up, I got out of the tub, grabbed my towel, wrapped it around myself and quickly walked into my bedroom—
“Helen.” He wasn’t yelling at me. But the way he called my name made me stop halfway between by chaise and my vanity table.
“What do you want from me, Wyatt!” I screamed instead. “Why are you doing this? Why are you pushing me? Why the fuck can’t you just let it go?! I was letting it go. I was going on as if nothing happened. I would have been fine with—”
“Me fucking the maids?” he snapped back at me. “Me hurting you, Helen? I’m not okay with that. We cannot pretend it did not happen—that is the moment we would both start lying to each other. And if we have to lie to each other every day for the rest of our lives, we will never be the same again. Which defeats the whole entire purpose of us not speaking about it in the first place. Like it or not, Helen, we have to face this—”
“Stop staying we! You mean me. I have to face it. Yes, fine, whatever! I fucking fell in love with you! I don’t know when. I don’t know why. Yes, we’re cousins. Yes, I know you find it disgusting, which is why you ran out in the middle of the night still fucking bleeding. If I could have stopped, I would have stopped. Do you think I’m thrilled? Do you think I wanted to feel this way? Wanted to fall for the one guy in the world I cannot have? No! It’s embarrassing. It’s painful! Loving someone who is so damn blind and selfish is painful and exhausting. I hate it! I hate you for making me feel this way. I just want to stop. So keep screwing the maids! Screw anyone you fucking want to, Wyatt. I don’t care, I’m a big girl. I’ll be fine. Like I have always been fine. So there! Have I said enough? Can you please get the fuck out now?”
“Helen—”
“GET OUT!” I screamed, grabbing the vase and throwing it at him, and hating how I purposely missed. And instead of taking the damn hint, he walked toward me and not away. “Wyatt…”
He wrapped his arms around my shoulders, pulling me toward him, not caring at all that I was soaking wet…or that I’d been yelling at him.
WYATT
She didn’t seem to realize she was crying when she was yelling at me. Crying and shivering. But I did, and in that moment, I didn’t really care what she was saying and hugged her. This was natural for me. Holding her when she was upset. Going to her when she told me to leave. I didn’t know how else to be. I didn’t want to know how else to be…which made this very un-normal. Monk was right. If I thought of her like my sister, I’d think she was insane. But I didn’t. So, I needed to shatter that image forever.
Releasing her only slightly and lifting her chin up, I stared down at her. My heart was drumming like mad for the first time ever.
“Wyatt, don’t me pity me...”
“Stop trying to discern my feelings,” I said seriously, though I couldn’t help but smirk. Before she opened her mouth to tell me to get out, or leave, or that she hated me, or loved me, I kissed her lips gently. And in that second, neither of us closed our eyes. We stared at each other as I kissed her. Like we were daring each other to stop, to pull away first.