“What’s wrong?” I spit, jerking my body up off the bed. I grit my teeth, angry that something didn’t go perfectly her first time.
“Not like that, silly,” she teases. “The only problem is that it can’t be the first time every time, and that we didn’t do this sooner.”
“Waiting made it more special and because Daddy’s a teacher he can teach you something right now. Do you want to learn?”
“Yes, please,” she says, her head tilting and her big eyes looking up at mine, ready to soak up the knowledge.
“We can pretend it’s your first time whenever we want.”
“But we’ll know it’s not.”
“The biggest sexual organ is the brain. If we try hard enough we can convince it of anything, just like we convince it our little Daddy and little girl play is real.”
“It is real, Daddy.”
“It sure is,” I say, making myself comfortable on the bed again. “Just like what we have,” I say softly into her ear. “It’s real and it’s perfect, because that’s exactly what you are.”
“I love learning from you.”
“And I love teaching you, and I can’t wait to teach you more about life for the rest of our lives.”
“Together.”
“Always.”
6
Alexa
Sitting next to Alexander at the dinner table I watch as he meticulously cuts the stake he just prepared with the precision of a surgeon. It reminds me of how he instructs. Everything is planned, prepared, and there is no deviation from the lesson plan. All t’s are crossed and all i’s are dotted.
He stabs the piece of mouthwatering steak with an immaculately clean fork and brings it to my lips.
“How is it?” he asks, after I lean forward and take it into my mouth.
“Incredible. It’s as if you knew exactly how to cook it.”
“I do. I’ve tried many techniques and this one is the best I’ve found.”
“What do you mean by techniques? Recipes?”
“Yeah, I guess you could call them that.”
Why is my mind running wild now? Why am I questioning any of this all of a sudden after what already happened? Why did I wait until now to stop and think if acting out my fantasy was a good idea.
“I can tell something’s on your mind,” he says calmly, taking a bite of the steak himself before feeding me another.
“No, everything’s fine,” I mumble, trying to maintain some level of manners as I talk with the best piece of meat I’ve ever tasted in my mouth. Then again, meat isn’t usually on the menu at all at my house, unless you count Spam.
I should be kissing his feet, knowing this king has already made me his queen, saving me from a life of struggle. Even with a good scholarship, my mom was always going to hold me back, mostly mentally which is the toughest part of it all.
“Everything’s not fine,” Alexander says, bringing me back into the moment. “Alexa,” he says, putting down the fork and gently taking my chin in-between his first finger and thumb, raising my head slightly. “As an instructor it’s my job to realize when a student is struggling.”
“And before you were an instructor?”
“It was my job to read people then too.”
“What was that job exactly?” I blurt out.