I nod, surreptitiously reaching up to wipe away a tear that escapes and tracks down my cheek. “I dreamed you left it with me. Maybe I just wanted to believe you left some part of yourself with me.”
Caleb bites his lip, something heartbreaking passing over his pale features. “I don’t remember you.” He lifts a hand quickly, holding it out as if to correct himself. “I mean, I know it’s you, but… I can barely remember. I spent all my life thinking those little memories I had were nothing, that they were just shit I made up when I was a kid. It’s all just vague, random stuff.”
A weird sense of relief washes through me, and one corner of my lip twitches up into an almost-smile. “That’s okay. I don’t really remember you either. Just, like you said, vague stuff. Things I wasn’t even sure were real.”
“You remember some things,” Caleb mutters, and the self-loathing in his voice is evident. “Jesus, Ayla. What I did. What happened… It’s so fucked up.”
I’m silent for a long moment, considering his words. I can feel not only Caleb but the other three men too waiting to hear what I’ll say. Waiting to hear my verdict.
Finally, I lick my lips and let out a breath. “This guy named Dominic once did some pretty fucked up shit to me, yeah. But the guy named Caleb?” I shrug. “I don’t know anything about him yet.”
Caleb swallows, his Adam’s apple dipping. I can see the strain of exhaustion on his face, and I know he needs to sleep again, to keep healing.
“Do you want to?” he asks, his voice quiet. Almost scared.
This time, I don’t pause as long to consider my answer. I could. I could spend hours—days, weeks—debating about whether what Caleb did is worth forgiving.
When the words fall out of my mouth, they don’t come from the logical, analytical part of me. They come from my heart. And they’re the absolute truth.
“Yeah. I think I do.”
Chapter 24
After our conversation, Caleb falls back asleep quickly.
I’m relieved. The words we exchanged were a tiny step toward a future, toward some kind of something between us. But I’m too exhausted to navigate what it all means, and I know we’ll have to navigate a lot of bullshit to get to a better place.
But Caleb wants to.
And so do I.
Theo and Ryland both pointed out how much Mr. and Mrs. Roth influenced Caleb as they raised him
as their son. Teaching him to expect the world to fall at his feet, probably, while at the same time grooming him to be so loyal to his family that he’d feel like it was his duty to play a dangerous game with deadly stakes just for the chance at bettering his family name.
It’s fucked up, but it gives me hope that the person I hope my brother can be is buried deep down somewhere. I saw glimpses of that man this weekend, starting with the moment when he saved our lives.
As Caleb dozes in bed, the men and I file quietly out of the room.
We find Victoria leading Doctor Brenson out. The man is so used to minding his fucking business that he just gives Marcus a tiny nod of his head—the only acknowledgement that not that long ago, the doctor saved Marcus’s life.
Marcus returns the nod, and when Doctor Brenson is gone, Victoria turns to us. Her limp has improved, which I take to mean she’s on some pretty good painkillers.
Digging into her pocket, she tosses a set of keys at Ryland. He snatches them out of the air, raising a brow as he does.
“So you can get the fuck out of here,” she says bluntly. “I’m not hosting a slumber party.”
I almost grin.
Once again, even the smallest gesture of kindness on her part has to be covered up by a sharp comment. I wonder vaguely if she’s spent so long thinking of herself as a bitch that she doesn’t realize she isn’t one.
Ruthless, cunning, and fierce as hell, yes.
But not a bitch the way Natalie is. Not petty. Not cruel for cruelty’s sake.
I think, as insane as it sounds, I’m actually starting to respect this girl. I could even see myself liking her.
Ryland’s lips purse, but he doesn’t say anything. He just nods at Victoria then turns to the rest of us. In answer to the unspoken prompt, Marcus takes my hand and starts leading me toward the garage.