I held the barrel of a gun under my chin last night, and for a few glorious seconds, I dreamed of joining you. But I know if I do that, we’ll never be together again.
I watch people, those who still have families, those who still have children, and I want them to understand my pain.
I want to burn the world, if only so the fire in my heart will have company.
I love you.
I will never stop loving you.
Until the day I die.
My teeth clamp down on my lower lip as I read, and by the third pass-through, I realize I’m biting so hard I’m about to break through the skin. I loosen my hold, blowing out a breath as my abused lip throbs.
“It still isn’t proof,” I murmur. “Not the kind of proof we need. But this is the beginning of Luca’s scheme right here, isn’t it? This whole thing about pitting the heirs of the most powerful families against each other wasn’t just about gaining more power for himself. It was about balancing the scales, at least in his eyes. If happiness was torn from him, he wanted to take it from others too.”
Theo scrubs a hand down his face, blinking at the screen. “Fuck. That’s dark as shit.”
“I get it,” Marcus murmurs.
My eyebrows shoot up, and I turn to look at him. He’s gazing down at his laptop, his face unreadable.
I shake my head. “You get what?”
He glances over at me, and the depth of emotion burning in his multi-colored eyes makes my stomach flip over.
“Some people love in a nice way. In a simple way. In an easy way. When those people lose someone they love, they mourn, but eventually they move on.”
He stops speaking for a moment. Then he moves suddenly, grabbing me and hauling me onto his lap. I let out a startled yelp as I straddle him, my dress twisting awkwardly around my legs. He bands one strong arm around my waist, holding me close as his other hand fists my hair, forcing me to meet his gaze.
“That’s not the way I love you, angel. That’s not the way any of us love you. It’s not nice. It’s not soft or wholesome. It fills me up so completely that sometimes I can barely fucking breathe.”
The hand that’s gripping my hair shakes with the intensity of his emotions, a bite of pain stinging my scalp as I gaze helplessly into his eyes, unable to look away. Theo and Ryland close in on either side of us, and with all three of them looking at me, surrounding me like this, I can’t think of anything else.
“It’s not healthy,” Marcus grits out. “It’s not right. But I’m not taking it back. I love you with my whole goddamn soul, and if I ever lost you, I’d raze the fucking world to the ground. I’d ruin it, just for existing when you didn’t.”
My heart slams against my ribs as the full force of his words washes over me.
I should be afraid.
I should be terrified.
Marcus is right. This isn’t healthy. It’s not normal.
This is the kind of love they talk about in history books as the reason wars are started. The reason empires rise and fall.
The connection that burns so hot between the four of us isn’t a gentle flame. It’s an inferno that could ignite the entire world.
My chest rises and falls as I try to catch my breath. My hand is resting on Marcus’s chest, and I fist his shirt, my fingers digging into the fabric. Then I haul him toward me, pulling harder against his grip on my hair and ignoring the pain that flares in my scalp as I crush my lips to his.
He kisses me back, plunging his tongue into my mouth like he’s trying to claim every piece of me. When we finally break apart to gasp for air, Ryland tilts my head toward his, slamming his lips into mine before I can even draw a breath.
I’m dizzy from lack of oxygen and the overwhelming feeling of being completely consumed by these men. My hand keeps clutching Marcus’s shirt as if I need it to anchor myself. Ryland’s lips still taste like the whiskey we drank earlier, and I whimper hungrily as my tongue battles with his.
When a strong hand closes around my jaw, I let it guide my motions, breaking my kiss with Ryland and turning to face Theo. I still haven’t drawn a complete breath, but I don’t think I care anymore.
Who needs fucking air when they can have this?
Would you do that, angel? Would you let us have all of you?