“The good news is that since you have already bonded with him as a succubus, you can each get your needs fulfilled. It’s a little codependent, but it can be made healthy. It shouldn’t cause you any more trouble than the initial bond did.”
I groaned, dropping my face into my hands. When I peered over at her through my fingers, she looked startled.
“That’s the problem,” I explained, my voice muffled by my palms. “He’s never accepted the succubus bond. He and I have never consummated it. We’ve kissed a few times, but that’s all. So now I’m twice bonded to a man who has no interest in me whatsoever
, and I really feel like I’m going to die.”
My voice started to waver and I bit my lip hard. No crying in front of the siren. No crying in front of the siren.
She’d already made me weep when she’d used her song on me in the interrogation room, and I was determined for that to be the last time she saw me cry.
Pulling myself together, I cleared my throat. “So if I can’t break the vampire bond, I have to break the succubus bond. Right?”
Her big, sympathetic eyes told me everything I needed to know.
Fucking fucking fuck.
Panic and fury battled for dominance inside of me as she shook her head sadly.
“I’m afraid the only way you will ever feel whole is to develop a physical bond to complement the ethereal one. It simply isn’t possible to break it.” Then she hesitated, her lips pursing slightly. “Well—no.”
“What?” My eyebrows shot up.
“I shouldn’t.”
“Please.”
She sighed. “Till death do you part, Piper.”
I gaped. She shrugged.
“Well, that’s abso-fucking-lutely fan-damn-tastic. I’m not going to kill him!”
She smiled kindly. “Then there’s really only one other option, isn’t there?”
Yeah, but I’m not taking that one either.
Although, in the end, it really wouldn’t matter. I wouldn’t kill myself to break the bond, but if Kai continued to stay far away from me, refusing to acknowledge the bond between us, I’d die eventually anyway.
“Damn it, Kai.” I wiped hot tears off of my face as I stormed down the hall. After Cassandra’s grim proclamation, I’d gotten out of there as quickly as possible, barely escaping the room before the tears burst forth. “Leaving me weak and vulnerable in the fucking underworld. And why? Because you’re still in love with someone you’ll never, ever see again. How am I supposed to compete with that? Why won’t you even give me a chance? I’m right fucking here.”
People shot worried looks in my direction as I passed, but I didn’t care. Let the admins try to put me in isolation. Let Sonja try to push me around. I was in no mood for their thought crime bullshittery.
I pinged Kai on my internal radar, weak as it was. He was in his room, probably hiding out from me as usual. I raced up the stairs, drying my face as I went. I didn’t want to beg, but if that’s what it came down to, I didn’t want to be ugly-crying while I did it.
Let a girl keep a little dignity, huh?
As soon as I reached his door, I skidded to a stop and pounded on it. No answer.
“Please, Kai,” I sobbed. Fuck. So much for not ugly-crying. “Please let me in.”
Once upon a time, I would’ve just flung the door open. I’d broken these locks before. But I was so tired, dead tired, and it was all his fault. Or my fault. I honestly wasn’t sure which one of us deserved the most blame anymore, and I hated it. Everything between us was fucked up beyond belief.
When he opened the door, he had headphones in, and his black hair was slightly mussed, as if he’d been lying on the bed listening to music. His eyes widened when he saw me, and my cheeks burned. I felt like an absolute fool.
I wasn’t going to let that stop me though. He smelled like life and I was dying.
“Uh—come in.” His brows drew together as he stepped back, pulling the headphones out. “What happened?”