I didn’t have to think about that at all. I shook my head. “They want me to tell them what he said when I was unconscious. I can’t give them memories I don’t have.”
“Ah, but you do have them.” He grinned, the blue of his eyes shining like a summer sky. “Have you ever been dreaming about some random thing and then the dream changes somehow to match what’s going on in the real world?”
I cocked my head at him. “What?”
“Like—okay, so you’re having a dream where you’re carrying balloons. Then someone comes along with a big needle, and they pop a balloon and it’s loud enough to wake you up. You sit up and hear the last bit of sound from a car backfiring or something.”
“Okay, yeah. Not that exactly, but I see what you’re saying. So?”
“So being unconscious doesn’t mean your ears aren’t working, or that your brain isn’t processing what’s happening. The information is all there, stored inside.”
“All right, but I don’t remember my dreams either,” I pointed out. “How am I supposed to remember that?”
“You aren’t.” Jayce’s hands found my knees, resting gently as he rubbed small circles with his thumbs. “You’re supposed to let Cassandra take you back there. But the reason I asked what you think is because your brain believes whatever you tell it. So if you tell it that it’s impossible to remember something, it won’t let you remember.”
“So, what, I just have to decide that it is possible to remember something I can’t remember, and then I’ll remember it?” I raised an eyebrow at him.
He shrugged. “Sort of. If you decide that it’s possible, then Cassandra can help you find it. Otherwise she’s going to have to force it, and it’s going to hurt.”
I shuddered. I knew that the more she forced it, the more attached I got to her in my hypnotized state. I couldn’t handle that much heartache. There were already four men at this school who drove me crazy in the best and worst ways.
“So how do we practice?” I rubbed the back of my neck.
“Easy. You’re going to remember what you dreamed about last night.”
I gave him a flat look. “I literally just told you that I don’t remember my dreams.”
“Which is literally why it’s practice,” he said with a patient smile. “Close your eyes.”
I did as he instructed, trying to banish my belief that none of this would work. Jayce’s logic did make some sense, and both he and Cassandra seemed convinced that I should be able to access those memories somehow.
We sat together in the little room for a long time as I let Jayce mess with my head, helping me coax out memories of things my conscious brain hadn’t even registered. By the time we called it quits, my whole brain felt like a puddle of melting ice cream.
The next day was more of the same, cramming all day and meditating well into the night, trying to get ready for both the final exams and my second interrogation.
I wouldn’t say I felt prepared, exactly, but at least I was no longer certain I would fail.
Chapter Five
I woke up in a panic the day of our makeup finals, thinking that I had missed my test because of how bright it was outside. But the clock said it was seven, which made no sense to me at all considering how dark it had been at eight o’clock the first morning we’d arrived. The sun hadn’t even risen until almost nine.
“What kind of fucked up cycle is this place even on?” I grumbled to nobody in particular as I tugged on my tunic. Our clothing had been provided by the school since we’d been brought to FU with nothing but what we were wearing at the time. I had instantly approved of the long-sleeved tunics and leggings that made up the majority of my wardrobe now. At this point, it was hard to imagine wearing anything else.
“Xero would probably know,” Hannah answered. “It’s clearly not a twenty-four-hour cycle, but I haven’t figured out what it is yet. The sun seems to come up whenever it feels like it.”
I jumped, throwing a hand over my heart. “Shit! I didn’t know you were awake! You scared the hell out of me.”
“You can scare the hell out of the girl, but you can’t scare the girl out of hell.” She chuckled softly, then sighed. There was a worrying lilt in her voice, almost as if she were drunk. Her honey-colored eyes seemed to glow like two suns in contrast to the deep purple smudges beneath them.
I frowned. “Are you doing okay?”
She shook her head. “Nope. I haven’t slept more than a few hours since we got here. I think I’m losing my mind.”
“You should ask Cassandra for something that’ll help you sleep.” I tugged my hair back into a ponytail, still eyeing her warily. “I can’t have you going off the rails on me.”
“I thought about that yesterday, but she wasn’t there.” She shrugged. “Her assistant said she was taking the day off to rest. I guess that interrogation session really wiped her out.”
“I think this place is what wiped her out. Have you noticed how tired the staff looks?”