Cora slowly shook her head, shutting her eyes. It all seemed so simple when put that way. Cora had thought in those terms for a few months, until she recognized Aidan’s ghost. She loved him, and loving him meant being there for him when he needed it, too.
What would happen if her feelings were exposed? If she had to point out how sad he still was? At work, she’d seen people crumble when faced with hard truths. She didn’t want that for Aidan. Besides, a small part of her still had hope. Maybe one day, past the pain, he’d see her in front of him, waiting and supporting him.
He’d finally find closure with Lily and move on. And who was she to rush him, by demanding he commit to her? She glanced at Presley, who had shifted closer, her knees pressing against Cora’s. “I know that’s hard to understand. You’ve never had an uncommitted D/s relationship.” Heaviness filled her limbs, and she breathed even and slow. “But Aidan and I get what we need from each other.”
Presley scratched at her cheek with pinched lips. “Okay, I get that. But you like Aidan, right?”
Cora loved Presley’s innocence. It was the beauty in Presley. In her sweet mind, everyone needed a happily-ever-after in the traditional form. “Of course I think he’s nice, and yes, I like him.” Even if they were best friends, she wouldn’t let Presley trap her in a conversation she didn’t want to have. “But I think a lot of Doms are nice.”
“Yes, exactly.” Presley’s gaze hardened, her voice equally so. “But you don’t play with other Doms. You only play with him. You deserve more than all this casual play. I see how Aidan watches you. I think if you said something—”
Cora’s heart raced, nearly exploding out of her chest. Before she could stop herself, she snapped, “Stop it, Presley.” At Presley’s twisted expression, Cora’s stomach knotted and she softened her voice. “Ugh. Shit, I’m sorry. I don’t mean to snap at you. Thank you for loving me so much to ask.” She wrapped her fingers around Presley’s clammy hand, squeezing it tight. “Please leave this alone. The way things are make me happy, and it’s all good.” Her body weakened and she was damn glad she was sitting down. “Promise me you won’t talk about this to anyone else.”
Everything would change, and that cannot happen.
I need him.
He needs me.
Those demons … he can’t face that yet.
At whatever crossed Cora’s expression, Presley’s eyebrows shot up into her hairline. “Okay, okay, I promise. I didn’t mean to upset you. And we don’t have to talk about it and I won’t say anything.”
Cora blew out a long breath, and considering how the world spun around her, she didn’t want to know what she looked like to cause Presley’s surprise. Inside she was a jumbled mess. The thought of the future if this secret came out turned her blood to ice. Not only that her playing with Aidan would cease, but she didn’t want Aidan to remember his pain, she wanted him happy.
It had taken her a year to see an honest smile cross his face. The thought of that going away made her nauseated. It’d taken another year to stop seeing the dark hurt in his eyes. Aidan was mourning a great loss, and Cora did not want to make it worse. She shut her eyes and focused inward.
This, too, will pass.
“What’s wrong?”
Her eyes flew open on a sharp gasp.
Oh, fuck!
Master’s Aidan’s chin dipped, and he looked Cora directly in the eye. “Even from across the dungeon, you looked upset.” At her silence, since her voice caught in her dry throat, he frowned. “Now I see I’m not imagining things. Answer me.”
Dammit!
Tightness formed in her chest and the world spun faster. He was the one person she wanted far away from this conversation. She placed a hand on the leather couch to support her and forced a quiet laugh. “Nothing’s wrong.”
His eyebrows raised, eyes blazing hot. “Is that so?”
She froze, feeling rooted to the spot. Hell, no! Run! She pushed up on shaky legs. “Yep, that’s so.”
His dark gaze narrowed. “You know I don’t like lies, Cora.”
Uncontrollable flushes of heat weakened her knees. Holy hell, how had this happened? “I … um … err …” Everything moved too quickly around her, and an empty feeling stormed into the pit of her stomach.
Run!
“Wow”—she glanced to the clock on the wall above the couch—“look at that, it’s late. I better get home.”
Images of what could be began to flash through her mind if the conversation went any further. That was all it took. She freaking booked it. As far as she was concerned, whoever said avoidance wasn’t the answer was a person who didn’t have anything worth avoiding.
It certainly worked for her.
Chapter Three