Back and forth, I grind against him, and he never grabs me or requests I move faster. Slowly the tears are drying, and what’s filling me is something so foreign. Something that’s not cracked and broken, but something that feels healthy and powerful.
And alongside that heady warmth, a flurry of sensation rises from deep within. My muscles flex with the rising pleasure and I ride him faster, harder, taking exactly what I need in the way that I like to take it.
He allows me to, never once taking over and thrusting up into me. He lets me build and get there all on my own. I grind against him harder, sliding my pussy back and forth, while his cock stretches me. But I’m hanging there, my clit is tickling with intensity, my inner walls are clenching against his shaft…
Then he murmurs in my ear, “Give me everything, baby.”
That’s apparently the only permission I need. Pleasure floods me in warm waves that take me away from here and bring me to a place where it’s just me and him, and the rest of the world—the very scary world around us—can wait.
I quiver and moan, slowly dragging myself out of my release, and it begins to dawn on me that he’s still hard inside me. I take one long sniff of his woodsy masculine cologne before I look at him, greeted by his gentle expression.
Wanting to offer him the same reward he gave to me, I shift my hips forward, but he grasps my waist, stopping me. “This wasn’t about me.”
“But you’re—”
“Fine.” He cups my face with his big, strong hands, staring at me deeply. “Kiss me.”
And I do, because right now in this moment, I’m not me, and in the mess of my life, from the accident to now, his strength also fortifies me in my moments of weakness.
When he finally backs away, he rests his forehead against mine. “I can’t stay here, no matter how badly I want to.”
I sigh and lean away. “I know you need to go and find whoever did this to my father.” Ryder’s never been unclear with me. His duty to my father stands above all else. And at that reminder, my mind snaps back. “Jesus, my dad. We shouldn’t have done this.” I jump up and reach for my clothes.
“You have time,” Ryder says, grabbing my waist and turning me to face him. “When Shawna knocked on the door, she said that your father’s gone into surgery. The media has left out front and they’re arriving at the hospital now to await the press conference. If anything happens, I’ll know about it, and so will you. There’s nothing you can do but sit in the waiting room and fret.” He pulls me in between his legs, as he remains sitting on the toilet, his cock still erect and glistening from my orgasm. He slides his hands over my hips and up my rib cage. “So don’t rush. Just breathe.”
I shut my eyes and take stabilizing breaths before looking at him again.
“I need to go to the police station to give them my report,” he adds, brushing his thumbs over my cheeks. “The hacker was killed tonight.”
I take a good look at him then. “But you weren’t hurt, right?”
“The mission was successful.” I can tell he’s holding things back. But at the moment my limit has been reached, and I’m pretty sure I can’t take any more bad news, so right now I stay silent as he adds, “Then I need to see your father once he gets out of surgery.” He pauses, his voice becoming thick with emotion. “Please tell me that you know I would stay if I could…”
I kiss his thumb as it travels across my mouth. “You never made me any promises. Go.”
“All right.” He gives a suffering sigh then rises, pulling his pants back into place.
The distance between us feels icy and wrong. I watch him gather my mother’s sports bra, T-shirt, and yoga pants before he dresses me.
Once the T-shirt slides over my body, he says, “I’ll come to you as soon as I can.” He gives me a quick but meaningful kiss, and when he leans away, he adds, “When you’re ready, come downstairs. I’ll ask Lee to drive you to the hospital to see your dad. All right?”
“Yeah, okay,” I say, good with everything.
It’s not until the door shuts and the silence surrounds me that I realize everything’s changed, and I didn’t even know it’d changed and can’t pinpoint when the change happened. But I want Ryder to stay and be my boyfriend. His duty to my father as chief of security convolutes this right now, keeping us from being together.
That’s when a sudden realization storms icily across me.
I’m the senator’s daughter, who should be off-limits.
He’s the bodyguard, who can’t help himself.
Tomorrow I’ll still be the senator’s daughter and he’ll still be my father’s bodyguard.
This is all we can be.
All we can ever be.
Chapter 15