I blink and tighten the blanket around me a little. “Seriously?” It’s not something I had considered.
He leans against the doorframe, crossing his arms. “Truthfully, I don’t know, but I always err on the side of caution and assume that everyone is being watched all the time.”
“That’s a terrible way to live.”
“Possibly, but it’s the way I must live. Now come inside where we know you’re not being photographed.”
He’s too serious. I don’t want him to return to his old self. I want him to stay focused on the heat between us, so I rise and slowly lower one side of the blanket off my shoulder. “What if they printed this in the tabloids, would that bother you?”
“Hadley.” He frowns.
“No?” I ask playfully. “Really, this wouldn’t bother you?” I lower the blanket just a bit more, exposing skin I know he’s way more possessive of than he wants to admit aloud.
He’s staring at my bare flesh, intensity burning in his eyes. Then he’s there, right in front of me, and he yanks me into his arms and presses a tender kiss on my shoulder. When he lifts his head, he brings the blanket back over my shoulder and gives me a heated smile. “I’ve never been very good at sharing” is the only answer he’s obviously prepared to give me. He places his hand on my back, nudging me into my apartment and shutting the door behind us.
Inside my living room all the lights are turned off, but as I walk by, I turn one of the lamps on before dropping down onto the couch and curling up into the corner. When Ryder joins me, I can tell by the curiosity in his expression that he’s wondering where my thoughts are at.
I know him well enough to know he wants to talk about it, so why avoid the inevitable. “There’s a lot against us,” I admit.
“There is,” he agrees.
That’s the heaviness on my mind, I decide. We’ve waited for this. But now that it’s happened, it almost feels like it’s happening at the wrong time, with too much chaos around us. “If this video gets out, the trouble it will cause you…”
“Hadley, we still have time. Don’t think of what-ifs.”
How could I not? Because the what-ifs are at the center of my life. “I don’t want this to hurt you, Ryder.”
He slides one arm over the back of the couch as one eyebrow arches. “You’re thinking of me?”
“It’s my dirty little secret,” I say with a nod. “This video is a character assassination for anyone attached to it. If this video comes out, and then the tabloids continue on with this story that we’re together…your business…?”
“You don’t need to worry about the tabloids.” I see him fighting against himself. Like he has something he wants to tell me but can’t. Eventually, he continues, “I’m ahead of the situation with the tabloids. They won’t print anything that I don’t already know about. Trust me on that. They won’t know that we are dating.”
His choice of words freezes me in my seat. “And is that what we are doing? Dating?”
He watches me closely for a very long moment that seems to go on and on. Until he finally speaks up again. “Is waking up and overthinking a habit for you?”
“Not normally, but these are not normal times.” I give a weak smile.
He pauses. “I suppose that’s true.” Another pause. Then, “Let me ask you this: How can two people be dating without ever going on a proper date?”
I cock my head and give him a look. “Are you suggesting that a guy who owns a sex club is old-fashioned?”
He doesn’t smile. All too serious. And of course he doesn’t focus on what I’ve said but asks his own question. “Why are you worrying about this?”
Obvious concern tightens the corners of his eyes, and before he can get deeper into the line of thinking that I’m immature, I add, “I can handle just sex, but I think we need to be clear if that’s what we’re doing.”
The side of his mouth arches. “You’re worried that I will cross an emotional line?”
I shrug. “At this point, we’ve already crossed a lot of lines we both know we shouldn’t, don’t you think?”
He watches me in that intense way he does and then he gives a dry laugh. “Has anyone ever told you that you don’t act like you’re twenty-five?”
“Has anyone ever told you that it’s rude to discuss a woman’s age?”
He barks a loud laugh now. “Fair enough. We want complete transparency, then?”
I nod. “Anything else will get us in trouble.”