“Then what did you do?”
I smile. “I put my self-defense class to good use and I think I broke his nose.”
“Attagirl,” Darius says proudly.
A group of drunken women pass by, spilling laughter into the night before I notice the furrow of Darius’s brow.
“Tell me this, then,” he adds, watching me carefully, “when I asked you if you felt safe, why did you lie to me?”
It’s really annoying that he can read me so well, and even more irritating that he calls me out on it. “I do feel safe, sort of. Like, I don’t feel like I’m in danger or anything.”
“Then what doesn’t feel safe?”
“Life,” I admit.
“What about life?”
“Everything,” I say with a snort. “I’m back here with no job, no house of my own, and I guess everything is really uncertain for me. It’s not the plan I had for myself.”
“It’s not the plan I had for you either,” he says dryly.
I drop my head into my hands, running my fingers over my tired eyes. “Right now it feels like I’m standing still and the world is spinning around me. You want to know how I got here…” I lower my hands and glance at Darius, who hasn’t taken his eyes off me. “I honestly don’t even have an answer because I’m not sure how I got here either. I’m not sure why every guy I ended up with turned out to be entirely wrong for me when they seemed right in the beginning. I’m not sure why I’m feeling like I’m floating instead of finding my roots in the ground. But that’s why I’m home. I’m not running from Shawn. I’m not running from my life there. I’m not running from giving you answers. All I know is, right now, I’m back in the one place where I was me, hoping that life starts to make sense again.”
He watches me intently, then nods. “Okay.”
I raise my brows. “Okay?”
“Yes.” His mouth curves. “Okay.”
I roll my eyes and smirk at him. “So, now all of a sudden you’re being all easygoing?”
“Now you’re being honest.” He wraps his arm around me, tugging me close against him, then rests his chin on the top of my head. “I already told you, I’m worried about you. But you’re still you, and that’s all I care about.”
I shut my eyes, hearing what he’s telling me now, but my mind is spinning. His touch feels so good and feels so normal. His arms are safe. It’s like five years have gone by in the blink of an eye, but I haven’t been awake for any of them. It feels like life got away from me. But right here, right now, I’m finally home. It’s as confusing as it is wonderful. Because as much as it’s perfect, it’s oh-so-deadly.
No one can hurt me more than Darius.
Just as I realize I need to move away, a flash of light snaps open my eyes. “Did you see that?” I gasp.
Darius releases me. “See what?”
I glance from left to right, but see nothing but the busy street in front of us. “Never mind. It’s nothing.” I turn to Darius and find his eyes locked on me. “Thanks for checking in on me tonight.”
“Please don’t thank me for caring about you,” he says gruffly.
Despite my not wanting to, I rise from the bench, knowing I need to get away. I can’t stay with Darius, no matter how good it feels, because I’ll be in the same circle I’ve always been in with him. A dangerous circle that ends with me heartbroken. Love isn’t good, unless you can love someone right.
He watches me closely, staying statue-still on the bench. “You’ll contact me if you need anything?”
“You know I will.” Then with my heart screaming at me to stay and my body physically aching without his touch, I walk away.
With each step I take, I remind myself that no matter how safe he feels or how much I want to stay, his final words to me five years ago echo in my ears: I fiercely love you, but that love will ultimately destroy you. Don’t walk away from me, Taylor. Run and never look back.
Chapter 3
Darius
Hug her madly. Kiss her wildly.