“I need you to look into someone for me,” I say. “His name is Shawn Mason.”
Ryder furrows his brows over his intense eyes and cocks his head. “Who is he to you?”
“He’s the asshole who beat up my ex-girlfriend, Taylor Erickson.”
I have to give it to Alex, she doesn’t even flinch, continuing to take notes on her laptop. Ryder, though, widens his eyes. I know why. He’s never heard I had a girlfriend before because I never did. I had casual lovers who came into my life and left just as fast. That’s the way I like it.
Rage slowly begins to swell inside of me and I can’t stand it, forcing me to rise to my feet. I shrug off my jacket, leaving it on my chair, and begin to pace the room. “As I’m sure you can imagine, I’m concerned about his whereabouts and Taylor’s safety.”
“Yes, quite understandable,” Ryder agrees, glancing quickly at Alex before focusing back on me. “Where does Mason live?”
“San Diego.”
Alex’s fingers move quickly across the keyboard as she asks, “His age?”
“That I don’t know.” I lean against the glass wall with my back to the command center. “But he’s lived with Taylor before, so look her up and then you’ll likely find him at the same address.”
I see the tightness in Ryder’s expression seconds before he asks, “What exactly do you want to do with this information once we find him?”
“You don’t want to know what I want to do,” I retort, gritting my teeth. “But what I have to do is find out more about him. I need to understand who I’m dealing with here. And I want to be sure that I have eyes on him.”
Alex’s fingers freeze over her keyboard. “Has Taylor moved back to San Francisco?” At my nod, she adds, “Honestly, it makes more sense to keep eyes on Ms. Erickson. She’ll be easier to track because she’s here.”
I shake my head, adamant. “That, sadly, is not an option. I told Taylor I would stay out of it. But I never said that I wouldn’t track down Mason to ensure he doesn’t get anywhere near her.”
Ryder interjects, “We’re good at what we do. She wouldn’t even see us. We’ll shadow her.”
“I gave her my word,” I counter sternly, leaving no room to argue. “I won’t break it.”
Alex clearly reads my expression well because she focuses back on her laptop. “All right, give me a minute here to look this guy up.”
I turn around, glancing out at the command center, staring at the busy San Francisco streets on the monitors, recognizing that Ryder has eyes on the Financial District, and the faces in that area are currently being scanned through his system.
Seconds begin ticking by slowly and I shut my eyes, reminding myself why being here is exactly where I should be.
My eyes shut tight, emotion swelling so hot inside me before I look at Taylor again, standing in front of me in my office. I want to say the perfect thing to her but all that manages to come out is, “It’s better to hurt you now than to break you later.”
My words are harsh and I see them ripple bitterly across her face. “Why are you doing this to me…to us?”
I’m breaking as she’s breaking. The strands of my soul are being ripped apart piece by piece. I want to hold her, steal her away so I can always protect her and keep her for myself. But this beautiful creature who has decided to love me deserves the world as she wants it, and I am not the man who can give it to her. “I’m trying to let you down gently, but this is done. It’s over now.”
“You can’t mean that.” Tears well in her eyes.
Tears that I’ve caused. “I do,” I lie to her. Because in the end, she’ll change for me. She’ll become the woman I need right now, and I don’t want that for her. “I want you to go and experience life, Taylor. Fuck, go travel. You’re so young. You don’t have responsibilities like I have.”
“I don’t want to travel or do anything else,” she cries. “I want you.”
She thinks she wants me, and that’s the problem. I’m not the man she truly craves. I’m the man she’s bound to. I’m the strength in her lif
e. I’m the anchor. But that’s not enough, not for someone like her. “You should want so much more for yourself.” I see her beginning to tremble and I clench my fists, stopping the shake of my hands. “You deserve a man who’s going to show you off to the world and I can’t do that right now.” No, I need to succeed in business. I have so much to prove. I lean in and kiss her forehead, whispering against her heated skin, “You deserve so much more, don’t ever forget that.”
“This guy is all types of bad news.”
I snap my eyes open, cold from the memory, knowing I can never be the man Taylor deserves. I can’t be her father, the family man. But I can do what I do well and that’s protect her now.
“From what I’m seeing here,” Alex continues when I turn to her, “Mason hasn’t had any official charges brought against him, but the police have been to his mother’s house a few times for violent outbursts. And he’s been in a handful of bar fights. Again, no charges brought against him for those.”
I swing my head around to Ryder, arching a brow. “Do I even want to know how you are able to access that information?” Blackwood Security isn’t affiliated with law enforcement and is in the private sector. While I know they have access to some systems, I doubt internal police reports are part of those systems.