Something that should scare me.
But something that doesn’t.
When I go to shut the door, Gabe squeezes my shoulder. “Don’t give up on him,” he says.
“You know what?” I drawl in exasperation. “Today, Micah ended things with me. Now he’s acting like this.” I turn to face Gabe, folding my arms. “I’m so damn sick of all the things I don’t know, so how about you tell me what the hell is going on with him?”
Gabe pauses, his eyes searching mine. “He never told you.”
“He never told me what?”
Gabe thrusts a hand through his hair, shifting from foot to foot repeatedly, until he curses. “I can’t keep watching him punish himself.” He places both hands on my shoulders, turning me to face him, looking me directly in the eye. “Tonight I gave him a bottle of whisky. I left him alone for fifteen minutes and I came back to an empty bottle. Then I endured listening to him talking of how he doesn’t deserve you.” Gabe leans in closer, and I get a whiff of his woodsy cologne when he adds, “What Juliet told you the other night he thinks will ruin you. That he will ruin you. It happened to him before. He fears it will happen again.”
First, I can’t believe what Gabe is admitting. Clearly this DC, or whatever it is, is something Gabe is also involved in, because how in the hell would he know about Juliet? Second, I feel like I’m grasping at thin air, trying to understand what he’s talking about. “Ruin me how? What happened before?”
“There’s more to his past than I’m sure he’s told you. And I know that because he never tells anyone about it.” He glances at Micah in the backseat, who’s now completely passed out and snoring softly. “Did Micah tell you why he and Clara broke up?”
“He said things just didn’t work out.”
Gabe glances from left to right, and even I notice the busy street around us before he adds, “What Juliet told you about Micah. That thing he is drawn to. Clara found that out about him too, and ended the relationship.”
I’m staring at Gabe, waiting for him to say something more, but he doesn’t comment further, telling me that is the reason they broke up. I’m admitting to myself now that maybe Micah is really sadistic, when Gabe continues, “In her pain and sadness over the breakup, and maybe even to get back at Micah, Clara told her father about Micah’s…preferences. Her corrupt father went to Micah’s dad and blackmailed them.”
My stomach begins churning. “What did Micah do?”
“Asked his father to pay the money.” The distaste toward Micah’s dad burns in Gabe’s eyes, as does the affection he has for Micah. “The first million Micah made he gave to his father to pay back his debt.”
I swallow, disbelieving what I’m hearing. “And his father took it?”
Gabe nods.
I grasp my middle, trying to absorb all this. Micah’s father took his son’s money instead of simply protecting him. Bile rises in my throat. Though I’m now understanding why when Micah thought he’d become his dad it bothered him so much. His father did some really terrible things.
But Micah’s nothing like him, I don’t doubt that at all. And as much as I’m led to believe that Micah is this sadistic, twisted guy, I don’t see it. I shut my eyes, fighting off the chill inside. I’m beginning to see that Micah’s secrets aren’t to hide, but to protect himself, because those he loved cut him deeply. That perception is changing how I see him, opening my eyes in a way they weren’t open before.
He’s not keeping secrets from me to hurt me.
He fears his secrets.
He’s protecting me from them.
“I’ve never seen him like I saw him tonight,” Gabe says, returning my attention to him. “He’s broken. And Micah never breaks.” His head tilts, and he’s regarding me deeply. “So, Allie, tell me, what do you think that means?”
I glance at Micah, passed out in the backseat, knowing exactly what that means. I have the power to destroy his demons, because with me, they come out fighting strong, knowing I can banish them. But I also know I can’t allow him to hurt me in the process, which he can so very easily do.
He has to choose us. I can’t do that for him.
I heave a long sigh, shutting the door, knowing I won’t figure this out right now. The Bentley’s lights fade into the night and I feel every brush of air against my skin. I hear every loud bang of my heart. I feel like I’m floating, lost in a reality that’s mine, yet isn’t.
“You never answered me.”
I turn to Gabe, finding tight concern around the corners of his eyes. “Yes, I know exactly what that means. He needs me,” is the only reply I’m prepared to give now.
I see Micah’s demons.
I’m beginning to understand why they’re there.
The only question that remains: Am I strong enough to fight them?