Sullivan slowly rose, the heat of his body so close. His eyes were steady, and Clara got lost in that for a moment, hoping he’d come even closer. “You’ll tell me if I overstep?” He lifted a shoulder. “Just felt like I—”
“Did the right thing,” she said with a firm nod. “You didn’t overstep.”
His smile widened. “Good.”
Sullivan’s woodsy cologne infused the air, bringing Clara back to last night when all she smelled was him, all she felt was him, all she wanted was him. Her nipples puckered, and she immediately stepped back, putting some distance between her and all of Sullivan’s heat. His devilish smile said he read right through her.
“Come on,” Mason called, bouncing in the seat. “Let’s go!”
Glad for the distraction, Clara shook her head at Mason and told Sullivan, “Manners are a work in progress.”
Sullivan winked. “For most people.”
He shut the door behind her then trotted around the hood of the truck to hop in next to her. As he started the ignition, she glanced back at Mason, who was smiling ear to ear, and her gaze fell on Sullivan, who had the same grin. Even she felt the beaming happiness on her face. Life could be a real bitch sometimes, but then, it could take wonderful, surprising turns. And for all the hard times when everything had seemed so difficult, Clara settled back into the seat, sighed, and smiled too.
“Can we see the tigers first?” Mason asked from the back seat as Sullivan drove off. “No, the lions.” A pause. “No, the monkeys. Wait.” His babbling continued in a blur of words and indecisiveness.
Sullivan leaned over with a grin. “Is it always like this?”
“Always.” Clara smiled back.
Staying true to himself, Mason kept talking the entire afternoon at Denver’s zoo, and Sullivan kept up. Mason’s excitement was infectious, and Clara had seen an unexpected shift in Sullivan. He’d turned into a big kid who seemed to enjoy the zoo as much as Mason did. After they had lunch at the Lion café, it occurred to her that Sullivan probably hadn’t done anything like this since before his mother passed away.
“I love the lemurs,” Mason said, clutching onto Clara’s hand.
“They are very cute,” she agreed.
Mason smiled then scooped up Sullivan’s hand and asked, “Did you like the lemurs too, Sullian?”
Sullivan looked to their held hands for a beat then his smiled warmed. “Yeah, buddy, I loved the lemurs. Those silly monkeys too.”
“Mama calls me a
monkey all the time,” Mason exclaimed with a laugh, then dropped their hands and went running down the pathway.
“Not too far ahead,” Clara called after him.
Sullivan laughed softly then said to Clara, “It’s safe to say he likes the zoo, huh?”
“He loves everything,” Clara replied. With Mason gone, her hand brushed Sullivan’s. She had to fight the instinct to take it. Today felt like the very dream she’d had before Mason was born. Doing things just like this, spending the afternoon at the zoo with Sullivan and their child. Once Mason came, she couldn’t think about dreams like that. But the truth was, and always would be, she could only imagine that dream happening with Sullivan. And there was a part of her heart that never wanted to let this moment go.
Sullivan was silent next to her, a quiet peace on his face.
To gauge where his head was at, she said, “You’re good at this, you know.” She tucked her thumbs in the back pockets of her jeans to keep her hands to herself. “When did you become so good with kids?”
“Seven years playing pro ball,” he answered, his hand closest to her shoved into his pocket like he was trying to control himself as well. “Kids come with that territory.” His gaze turned a little unsure. “But thanks—I appreciate your approval. I definitely feel out of my element here.”
“You’d never know it,” Clara said seriously. “I’ve never seen Mason grab someone’s hand like that other than with Amelia and Maisie.”
Sullivan looked to Mason, who stopped at the flamingos, his gaze thoughtful, contemplating. “We should tell him the truth.”
Clara slowed and stopped near the capybara habitat. Mason was still watching the flamingos, and while Clara kept him in her sight, she asked Sullivan, “Are you sure you’re ready for that? It’s a commitment forever. There is no going back after that. Again, we don’t have to rush this.”
Sullivan paused, considering. “It’s a secret I don’t want to keep anymore.” With a sigh, he leaned against the wooden fence, arms resting on top. “There’s been a lot in my life that I’ve gotten wrong.” He hesitated again then shook his head slowly before his emotion-filled eyes met Clara’s. “Mason is something I got right without even knowing it. He’s family. My family. I want him to know that. If you’re okay with it, that’s is.”
Now, Clara paused. Every alarm inside her blared. Everything would change after that. Mason’s safe bubble would no longer only belong to her. Sullivan and her would co-parent. He’d be involved in all decisions and could hurt Mason. “This is hard for me,” she admitted. “It’s only ever been us.”
“I know,” Sullivan said then took her hand, squeezing tight. “But things have changed now. I’ve changed. And I’ll keep changing and doing what I have to do to be a good role model in Mason’s life. You’ve got my promise on that.” He leaned down, bringing his eyes level with hers. “I won’t hurt him. I won’t leave him.”